Have you ever been in a relationship living in reactivity, feeling like a screech owl? Some people believe no one can ‘make’ us feel anything. They believe it is all up to us. However, it takes work to understand what triggers our emotional reactions. Before we do that work it… [Read More]
How To Use Your “Wise Mind”
The human brain has two sides, each of which has an important function. Depending on one’s personality and extenuating circumstances, one side may become more active than the other. Learning how to use your “wise mind” can be a lifesaver in having healthy, stable relationships that thrive instead of just… [Read More]
How To Keep Your Power When Arguing
Kathy Henry’s video on how to keep your power when arguing. This simple trick can help you keep the upper hand when arguing or fighting with your partner or spouse! You can reach Kathy Henry, MSW, LCSW, at (317)727-8939 or kathy@healingheartsofindy.com for more information or to schedule and… [Read More]
The Power of Saying What We NEED
What you need The power of saying what we need in a relationship is absolutely vital to it’s success. Have you ever had a really bad day? A day where it seemed like nothing went the way it should? When you get home, all you want is to be embraced… [Read More]
Hailstorm vs. Turtle
The Hailstorm vs. Turtle is an analogy created by Harville Hendrix to explain some of the very different ways a couple can behave and react within a relationship. Considering all the ways two people in a couple can be so very different, it often looks like the result of a divine… [Read More]
Overcoming Defensiveness
Defensiveness: When individuals feel attacked or misunderstood they often act out in ways to protect themselves. Many individuals get defensive when they are feeling criticized or blamed. When we get defensive we essentially take that blame and put it on the other person. A Better Understanding of Defensiveness: I… [Read More]
The Pain Of Projection
I recently got a vivid reminder of the power – and pain – of projection. Projection is when you project your worst beliefs or fears about yourself onto someone else and believe that the other person actually feels that way. Think of a slide projector – if the slide in… [Read More]
The Blame Game
All blame is a waste of time. How can I say that, do you suppose? I mean, come on…there are times when people deserve to get blamed. There IS such a thing as “fault” after all, right? People make mistakes, and there are consequences, and it actually IS someone’s fault…. [Read More]
The Seven Year *itch
If you can pardon the somewhat vulgar insinuation, I promise I have a point to my choice for the title of this blog. I just brewed up some Wild Mountain Blueberry coffee and am curled up by the fireplace with a warm blanket and my sweet kitty Bart, (ahhh!) and… [Read More]
Insulation vs. Isolation
By request…today we are going to talk about a way of thinking, a paradigm that will help navigate the waters of relationship with folks that may not always be all that safe. This is a common question I have from clients that are working so hard to develop good boundaries… [Read More]
