Constructive Criticism

Is there such a thing as constructive criticism?  I was listening to a training by John and Julie Gottman, a couple of the most well-respected couples therapists and researchers, the other day, and they suggest that there really is no such thing.  It is common for...

The Marriage Saver

People ask me now and again, what is the key to staying married for the long haul?  My parents are about to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary, and it is obvious to anyone who knows them that they are still absolutely in love with each other.  What is it about...

Invitation vs. Expectation

I work with couples regularly who are stuck in the power struggle. They fight with each other over which one is going to act and behave according to the other’s worldview.  It sounds something like this “I know how the world works, and if you would just get on...

Thoughts On Failure

‘Round about the end of January, many folks are beating themselves up and having feelings of failure in keeping their new year’s resolutions. There are other times any time of year, or maybe even any time of day, when that shaming voice in one’s head comes out to let...