<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI really don\u2019t know if I want to be in this relationship anymore. I just want to know that we tried everything we could.\u201d I hear different versions of this statement from a new client at least once a month. It can pose a challenge, but it doesn\u2019t necessarily have to be a death-sentence to the relationship. Couple’s therapy can help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Checking the Box<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I like to call a spade a spade, and I often consider couples who come in with this type of mindset to be \u201cchecking a box\u201d, or ensuring that they did everything the \u201cright\u201d way before fully arriving at a conclusion. This happens, I find, even when someone may already have already reached it in their own mind. I am of the belief that this is not an inherently negative thing, but rather something to be acknowledged in order to move forward in the therapeutic process. Bringing this up relatively early on in the process lets both parties know that staying on the fence won\u2019t be a long-term option.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Getting on the Same Page<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Without a common goal, being in couple’s therapy doesn\u2019t make a ton of sense. In my own therapy, I ensure we are working toward a common goal fairly early on in the therapeutic process. After I am finished with the initial background assessments of the clients and their relationship, I will begin to explore goals. These may include working toward divorce or separation or working toward reconciliation. When the couple doesn\u2019t seem aligned, I may have a variation of the same conversation multiple times to allow all outcomes to be explored by both partners. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The Role of Therapy<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Couple’s therapy can provide a variety of different roles in a scenario like this. I always recommend both parties are ready to begin working toward whatever \u201csame page\u201d the relationship is headed. Sometimes, this does end up being reconciliation, sometimes we simply have a few sessions to wrap up loose ends or to set a plan for separation or divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n On occasion, I will have one client who\u2019s ready to start co-parenting counseling. In these instances, I typically recommend taking a moment for the other partner to \u201ccatch up\u201d so to speak. I have seen co-parenting sessions be worthwhile when both partners are ready to accept the end of the relationship and move forward. This can be rather emotionally difficult work unless the couple has moved into a more business-like relationship.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cI really don\u2019t know if I want to be in this relationship anymore. I just want to know that we tried everything we could.\u201d I hear different versions of this statement from a new client at least once a month. It can pose a challenge, but it doesn\u2019t necessarily have to be a death-sentence to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":14575,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"\n Qualities that Facilitate Change<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the midst of a huge movement in our country, many are unsure of how to help, what to do, or how to process. Each of us has a unique skillset and ability to make a difference in our society. These are just a few of the hard-hitting qualities that help facilitate change and encourage others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Motivational<\/p>\n\n\n\n Those<\/p>\n\n\n\n Good communicators who have work to project positivity toward the people around them are likely to motivate and inspire others. Motivational people try to see the bigger picture and keep their eye on a vision of hope for the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Compassionate<\/p>\n\n\n\n Having a heart of empathy and a willingness to care for the needs of others is what makes a compassionate person so important. Being able to put yourself in another person\u2019s shoes allows for an increase in understanding of differences in people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Autonomous<\/p>\n\n\n\n An independent free-thinker is unstoppable. Those who are unafraid to disagree with the opinion of another bring variety and new perspective to a conversation. It\u2019s easy to join the crowd\u2014much more difficult to consider an unpopular or uncomfortable idea and speak up about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Resilient<\/p>\n\n\n\n Those who persevere under pressure and can speak to difficult experiences are powerful when they share their stories. In the face of adversity, we are all forced to either buckle under pressure or grow stronger. Those who exhibit this resilience are an inspiration to those around them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Humble<\/p>\n\n\n\n Finally, the willingness to put aside pride in order to listen and learn from those with different experiences is an amazing quality. While confidence is necessary to enact change, humility provides balance and thoughtfulness to the conversation.<\/p>\n","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[32,28,18,17],"tags":[2224,471,396,1558,407,454,447,713,484,755,2223],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14567"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14567"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14567\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14576,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14567\/revisions\/14576"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14575"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14567"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14567"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14567"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}