If you could go back in time, say 10, 20, or 30 years, what would you say to yourself?\u00a0 You\u2019ve lived through some rough stuff since then.\u00a0 You\u2019ve gained wisdom from life experience that cannot be learned any better way than through living it.\u00a0 You know things now that you couldn\u2019t have known back then.\u00a0 Given all of that, what would you say to that \u2018younger\u2019 self?<\/p>\n
If I could sit my 20 year old self down – Wow, I would have a LOT to say!\u00a0 \u201cTrust your gut,\u201d is the first thing I would say.\u00a0 I would tell myself to turn the volume down on the negatives that people freely impart upon me and turn UP the volume on the praise.\u00a0 I would tell myself that I am worth far more than I think I am and that if I would just trust that myself, I will be okay.\u00a0 That is some powerful stuff, but still I wonder \u2013 would I have heard it?\u00a0 Sadly, I kind of doubt it!<\/p>\n
When I ask my clients this question, they often have a kind of sad, knowing look on their faces.\u00a0 They know, or rather I should say, they knew<\/em>.\u00a0 They knew at the time that they were not going in the direction that was best for them, but somehow they were compelled to stay on that path.\u00a0 They also know that they, like me, probably wouldn\u2019t have listened anyway.\u00a0 If you really think about it, however, it\u2019s a good conversation to have with ones\u2019 self.\u00a0 To look back and think, \u2018If I had only known then what I know now, what would I have done differently?\u2019\u00a0 It is an important conversation to have because if we don\u2019t know where we went wrong in our past, how do we keep ourselves from going down that path again?<\/p>\n Now look back a bit further, what would you say to your 10 year old self?\u00a0 The innocent, playful one who looks a little like your son, your daughter, your niece or nephew?\u00a0 Now we have a lot more that comes to mind.\u00a0 The words are more powerful now.\u00a0 \u201cYou are not stupid.\u201d \u201cYour needs\/wants\/ideas\/opinions are normal.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYou are lovable \u2013 just the way you are.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYou matter.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cThere is nothing wrong with you.\u201d \u201cIt is okay to make mistakes.\u201d<\/p>\n While I sit here wondering how my life would be different if I could have gotten through to my younger self, I can\u2019t help but look at the real question staring me in the face. . . What would I say to myself 10 years from now?\u00a0 My mistakes in judgment at 20 were somewhat excusable, if not expected.\u00a0 At 30, they were half-way understandable.\u00a0 Now I\u2019m getting to an age where knowingly walking myself into areas that I know will harm me is almost unconscionable.\u00a0\u00a0 Wow, that\u2019s profound and a little bit scary.<\/p>\n Check yourself.\u00a0 What are you doing that you know is not good for you?\u00a0 What paths are you walking down that don\u2019t lead you where you want to go?\u00a0 What distractions are you allowing in your life that are holding you back?\u00a0 If you could look back at yourself 10 years from now, what advice would you have for yourself?\u00a0 Look hard.\u00a0 Only you know the answers . . . and only you can follow them!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" If you could go back in time, say 10, 20, or 30 years, what would you say to yourself?\u00a0 You\u2019ve lived through some rough stuff since then.\u00a0 You\u2019ve gained wisdom from life experience that cannot be learned any better way than through living it.\u00a0 You know things now that you couldn\u2019t have known back then.\u00a0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,1],"tags":[394,445,399,465,487,488,433,437,400,402,427,434,424,446,497,404,490,438,442,450,439,491,498,492,499,500,429,447,494,501,420,430,495,435,436,496,485,451,50,414],"class_list":["post-3542","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marriage","category-uncategorized","tag-abandonment","tag-addiction","tag-affairs","tag-anger","tag-arguing","tag-being-healthy-in-a-relationship","tag-cause-of-depression","tag-change","tag-cheating","tag-codependency","tag-conflict-in-relationships","tag-control","tag-counseling","tag-courage","tag-disconnectiong","tag-enmeshment","tag-fighting","tag-forgiveness","tag-giving-too-much-in-relationships","tag-grief","tag-growth","tag-hitting-rock-bottom","tag-i-hate-my-job","tag-individual-growth","tag-intimacy","tag-marital-conflict","tag-marriage","tag-marriage-counseling","tag-mental-health","tag-raging","tag-recovery","tag-relationships","tag-rock-bottom","tag-ruminating","tag-shame","tag-thankfulness","tag-therapy","tag-tragedy","tag-uncategorized","tag-why-people-cheat"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3542","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3542"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3542\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4170,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3542\/revisions\/4170"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3542"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3542"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3542"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}