{"id":3579,"date":"2012-05-06T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-05-06T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/whats-at-the-heart-of-your-marital-issues\/"},"modified":"2020-05-11T20:48:47","modified_gmt":"2020-05-11T20:48:47","slug":"whats-at-the-heart-of-your-marital-issues","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/whats-at-the-heart-of-your-marital-issues\/","title":{"rendered":"What\u2019s At The Heart of YOUR Marital Issues?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Do you know what\u2019s at the heart of your marital issues?\u00a0 What I\u2019m talking about are the core issues, the deep fears and insecurities buried inside you and your spouse.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t know yourselves or each other well enough to be in tune with what\u2019s really<\/em> going on down under the surface, you will have a hard, hard time resolving any conflicts or feeling any relief in your relationship!\u00a0 Let\u2019s look at the 3 layers of a dispute. . .<\/p>\n

CONTENT \u00a0–\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span> This is the basic idea of what a couple fights about, i.e., whatever happened that started the feelings and led to a fight. \u00a0It is the exchange of each others’ perspective of what happened (note: our perspectives are tainted by our core issues). \u00a0These are just words exchanging facts and details about what happened or didn\u2019t happen.\u00a0 Generally, neither party feels heard so both use more and more words to \u201cprove their case\u201d about what they feel and they get nowhere!<\/p>\n

PROCESS<\/span> \u2013<\/strong><\/em> These are the methods a couple uses to maneuver their way to resolution in an argument.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cUNHEALTHY<\/em> process\u201d includes things like defensiveness, anger, yelling, cut-off, interrupting, name calling, minimizing, self-deprecation, bringing up old hurts, etc.\u00a0 \u201cHEALTHY<\/em> process\u201d includes hearing each other out, validating each others’ feelings, being able to put your own feelings aside in order to hear your spouse\u2019s, etc.\u00a0 Here\u2019s a little secret:<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0 whichever type you choose determines whether you\u2019ll reach a resolution!<\/p>\n


\nCORE ISSUES<\/span> \u2013<\/strong><\/em> The core issues are what each of you keep coming back to in nearly every painful situation you encounter!\u00a0 Each person\u2019s core issue is based on what wounds they sustained early in their life – fears and insecurities like, \u201cI\u2019m a bad person\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m not good enough\u201d, or \u201cI\u2019m going to get abandoned\u201d, or \u201cPeople don\u2019t like me\u201d.\u00a0 Most people have no idea that these messages are burning down deep inside of them and are driving everything they are doing and saying in an argument.<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t know what your core issues are, you are going to have a hard time getting the love you want in your life.<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0 If your spouse doesn\u2019t know theirs, they are going to have a rough time, too.\u00a0 If neither of you know your core issues, you\u2019re in serious trouble!
\nTo know what is at the heart of your marital issues, you have to know yourself<\/strong><\/em> and your spouse has to know themself really well, too.\u00a0 This takes some time and personal reflection to figure it out.\u00a0 Without someone to help gently guide you down into the scary dark waters below the surface, you may never discover what the core issues are!\u00a0 \u00a0When the core issues are known, however, you can quickly and easily get right to the heart of each others’ feelings and, not only will you be able to resolve conflicts more easily, you will be able to love and be loved the way you were meant to be!!<\/p>\n

If you want to begin the amazing discovery process, call me.\u00a0 It will open up a whole new world for you!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you know what\u2019s at the heart of your marital issues?\u00a0 What I\u2019m talking about are the core issues, the deep fears and insecurities buried inside you and your spouse.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t know yourselves or each other well enough to be in tune with what\u2019s really going on down under the surface, you will […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,20,21,25,18],"tags":[394,399,487,628,536,490,500,484,436],"class_list":["post-3579","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-abandonment","category-addiction","category-affairs","category-communication","category-marriage","tag-abandonment","tag-affairs","tag-arguing","tag-arguments","tag-conflict-in-marriage","tag-fighting","tag-marital-conflict","tag-separation","tag-shame"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3579"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3579"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3579\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4206,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3579\/revisions\/4206"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3579"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3579"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3579"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}