{"id":3615,"date":"2012-12-02T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-12-02T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/how-to-be-a-great-spouse\/"},"modified":"2020-05-11T20:48:50","modified_gmt":"2020-05-11T20:48:50","slug":"how-to-be-a-great-spouse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/how-to-be-a-great-spouse\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Be A Great Spouse"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Everyone wants a great relationship &#8211; one that meets their needs, and provides a safe, soft, warm place to be who they are and to be accepted and loved.\u00a0 <strong><em>If you want a great relationship, then work on being the best husband or wife that you can be!\u00a0 <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>When people are determined to do something, they do it.\u00a0 When people are <strong><em>driven from within<\/em><\/strong> to do something well, they learn everything they can about it.\u00a0 They practice, they study, they push themselves past the rough spots, make time for it, allow themselves to be uncomfortable and work hard until they master it! <strong><em>You get out of it what you invest in it.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>My point here is that most people want a great relationship and to be a great partner to their spouse, <strong><em>but they don\u2019t want to do the work that is associated with it!<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0 They just want their spouse to be everything they want, but they don\u2019t really work on <strong><em>being<\/em><\/strong> a great spouse!\u00a0 How do you rate as a spouse?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Do you know what your partner needs you to work on (on yourself) so that they can be more comfortable in the relationship with you?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Do you really hear your partner when they are talking to you?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Do you have a deep intimate knowledge of your partner\u2019s most significant needs (hint: they are rooted in their childhood)?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Do you have a lot of negative chatter (bitterness) going on in your head about your spouse or do you see their tender, sweet, hurting side?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Are you forgiving, accepting, loving, tender, respectful, safe, trustworthy, and giving with your partner?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Do you invest time in your partner?\u00a0 Can you set your needs aside in order to meet theirs?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Do you judge and condemn their ideas, suggestions, opinions, thoughts, or do you seek to understand them?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Are you more focused on what you are <strong><em>getting<\/em><\/strong> out of the relationship rather than what you are <strong><em>giving<\/em><\/strong> to the relationship?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I have couples coming in all the time that are just stuck in a cycle of negativity.\u00a0 They can\u2019t seem to pull themselves out of the downward spiral towards break up.\u00a0 My first job in that scenario is to get them out of the habit (important word, there!) of focusing on what they are <strong><em>not<\/em><\/strong> getting out of the relationship and how their spouse is not meeting their needs.\u00a0 Sometimes it can take a year just to get people to quit focusing on their partner and instead, begin working on <strong><em>being<\/em><\/strong> a good spouse.\u00a0 <em><strong>Put down the magnifying glass and pick up a mirror!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>If you want a great marriage, then you need to get to work!\u00a0 If you are interested in being the best husband\/wife\/partner\/girlfriend\/boyfriend or whatever, then learn everything you can about \u00a0it. Read books, go to counseling, join a group, read articles and blogs, talk to other people who have great marriages and ask how they did it, and most importantly, learn what it is that your spouse needs and learn how to give it to them.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>A great relationship isn\u2019t 50\/50, it is 100\/100!\u00a0 You each have to invest yourself completely in being the best partner you can be in order to get the rewards!!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Everyone wants a great relationship &#8211; one that meets their needs, and provides a safe, soft, warm place to be who they are and to be accepted and loved.\u00a0 If you want a great relationship, then work on being the best husband or wife that you can be!\u00a0 When people are determined to do something, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[471,779,780,781,782,783,407,429,447],"class_list":["post-3615","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marriage","tag-couples-counseling","tag-good-marriage","tag-happy-marriage","tag-how-to-avoid-divorce","tag-how-to-be-a-great-husband","tag-how-to-be-a-great-wife","tag-indianapolis-marriage-counseling","tag-marriage","tag-marriage-counseling"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3615","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3615"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3615\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4242,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3615\/revisions\/4242"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3615"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3615"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3615"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}