Is it even worth the fight?\u00a0 To be sure, fighting is painful and it may seem like no good can come from it, but the answer to the question is and emphatic \u201cYes!\u201d<\/p>\n
When a fight erupts, it signals something is going on beneath the surface.\u00a0 It is important to wade through those treacherous and murky waters to get to the heart of the issue. \u00a0If we just \u201cpick our battles\u201d or say it\u2019s not worth it, we are missing out on gaining intimacy with ourselves and our partner!<\/p>\n
There are benefits to \u201cgoing there\u201d . . .<\/p>\n
Talking about it gives us a platform to process our feelings.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em> Often, we feel a glob of feelings (maybe even very intense ones!), but we don\u2019t even know what all is packed in there.\u00a0 By having to verbalize our feelings to another person, we are forced to identify, get in touch with, and make sense of them. We get feedback about ourselves when we share our feelings.\u00a0 <\/strong><\/em>Ideally, we should be able to get constructive feedback to help us make better sense of ourselves and our feelings.\u00a0 When we understand ourselves better, we can do better.\u00a0 If we are reluctant to share what\u2019s going on inside of ourselves, however, we can\u2019t really grow into the best person we can be.<\/p>\n We have an essential need to be heard and understood<\/span>.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em> There is something so very primal about the need to be heard – and understood.\u00a0<\/em> We all want to feel \u201cnormal\u201d or \u201cokay\u201d in this crazy, confusing world.\u00a0 When your mate truly sees it through your eyes, with all of your wounds and your life experiences, it touches the heart so deeply.\u00a0 It is very healing for the one with the feelings, more importantly, it creates a bond of intimacy and lays positive groundwork for more.<\/p>\n Expressing our feelings is essential for resolving conflict.<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0 When feelings go unexpressed, conflict goes unresolved.\u00a0 Wounds are left open, resentment is created, tension mounts, and a wedge is formed.\u00a0 The issue becomes a ticking time-bomb. You cannot have a healthy relationship if you don\u2019t know how to resolve conflict!\u00a0 Every couple is going to have plenty that they don\u2019t agree on, if they are skilled at resolving those differences, love and intimacy can flourish.\u00a0 If they just \u201cget over it\u201d, sadly, it will eventually hit the fan because stuffed feelings are going to find a way out \u2013 and it is usually sideways and ugly!<\/p>\n Truthfully, most people are not mature enough to be able to either express their feelings in a healthy way or to hear their partner\u2019s pain.\u00a0 (Hence, the incredibly high divorce rate!) We absolutely can learn how express, hear, understand, and grow, but we must be willing to be uncomfortable in order to do it.\u00a0 For most people, it would take a lot of convincing that it is worth the fight, but I can assure you, if you are a willing student and keep working at it, you will eventually agree that it most certainly is worth the fight!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Is it even worth the fight?\u00a0 To be sure, fighting is painful and it may seem like no good can come from it, but the answer to the question is and emphatic \u201cYes!\u201d When a fight erupts, it signals something is going on beneath the surface.\u00a0 It is important to wade through those treacherous and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3670","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marriage"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3670","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3670"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3670\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4296,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3670\/revisions\/4296"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3670"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3670"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3670"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nHave you expressed feelings before and had something come out that you didn\u2019t expect?\u00a0 The process of verbalizing is important to getting in touch with our feelings and understanding ourselves better!<\/p>\n