{"id":3675,"date":"2013-10-06T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-10-06T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/why-is-cut-off-not-the-answer\/"},"modified":"2020-05-11T20:48:55","modified_gmt":"2020-05-11T20:48:55","slug":"why-is-cut-off-not-the-answer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/why-is-cut-off-not-the-answer\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Is Cut-Off Not the Answer?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Why is emotional cut-off not the answer to the painful relationships in your life?\u00a0 It seems like it would be the perfect solution.\u00a0 I mean, if there is someone in your life that brings you pain, why not just avoid them, be \u201cover it\u201d, refuse to engage with them, just stop talking to them, or otherwise cut them out of your life?\u00a0 The answer?\u00a0 Because you are still connected to them!\u00a0<\/em><\/strong> Yes, as crazy as it sounds, when you are emotionally cut off from someone, you are still connected to them!\u00a0 They still have power over you emotionally.\u00a0 They still have grips on your heart no matter how much you tell yourself you are over it!\u00a0 Let me explain. . .<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s say that I had a beef with my friend.\u00a0 They royally honked me off and I ‘m over it!\u00a0 Most people would agree that is an appropriate response to a bad situation.\u00a0 What I know, however, is that even though I may have cut off from my friend, I still am spending a lot of mental and emotional energy on them.\u00a0 I triangle with others about it to soothe myself.\u00a0 I have mock arguments in my head with the person I\u2019m angry at.\u00a0 I have to consider that I may run into them wherever I go. I may have mutual friends that are affected by the cut-off.\u00a0 And whenever the topic comes up, the original pain causing the cut-off resurfaces and I have to deal with it.\u00a0 This does not sound like somebody who\u2019s \u201cover it\u201d!!<\/p>\n

In reality, it is kind of like how they say the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.\u00a0 If I \u201chate\u201d someone, I am still invested in them emotionally.\u00a0 I have to house and nurture that hate.\u00a0 In reality, the hate (or cut-off in this case) is just a wall I put up in order to emotionally protect myself.\u00a0 It is the flip side of the exact same coin!\u00a0<\/strong><\/em> The problem is, it requires so much energy to erect and maintain that emotional wall \u2013 to keep my feelings in and to keep them out!\u00a0 How can I be at peace if I am constantly on guard against the person I am cut-off from?\u00a0 Or worse, maybe I\u2019m not on guard, but something can pop up and trigger the pain of it at any given moment and I am temporarily crippled by it?<\/p>\n

When we are finally convinced that emotional cut-off is not the answer, we face the demons, confront the conflict and try to work through it.\u00a0 Even if the other party is unwilling, unavailable, or unreceptive to working through it, it is still beneficial for us to not be cut-off.\u00a0 If I have come to terms with my pain, have worked through forgiveness, and am at peace with whatever\u00a0situation that caused me to want to cut-off, I have no reason to avoid the person.\u00a0 I can stay in touch with myself, understand where they are at, have healthy interactions and use healthy boundaries to protect myself instead of the nasty, energy draining method of emotional cut-off!<\/p>\n

Cut-off will only offer you temporary results.\u00a0 Coming to a place of understanding of the other person and having good boundaries is far more effective.\u00a0 And if you want long-term, peaceful living that you can depend on, forgiveness is the ultimate answer.\u00a0 Forgiveness is releasing someone from prison and realizing the prisoner was you!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Why is emotional cut-off not the answer to the painful relationships in your life?\u00a0 It seems like it would be the perfect solution.\u00a0 I mean, if there is someone in your life that brings you pain, why not just avoid them, be \u201cover it\u201d, refuse to engage with them, just stop talking to them, or […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3675","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marriage"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3675","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3675"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3675\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4301,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3675\/revisions\/4301"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3675"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3675"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3675"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}