Do you know how to get your needs met?\u00a0 Quite honestly, most people don\u2019t, at least by my observation!\u00a0 And this creates a population of needy, desperate, and unhappy people!!<\/p>\n
So how do you get your needs met in a healthy way?\u00a0 FIRST <\/em>you have to understand that meeting your needs is YOUR <\/em>responsibility.<\/strong>\u00a0 A big problem that we have is that we assign this responsibility to everyone else around us.\u00a0 Early in our romantic relationships it is easy for our partner to fill our needs because they are spending a lot of time and energy trying to do so.\u00a0 When the balance gets back to normal, however, we start to feel empty and we blame our partner!\u00a0 Once we accept that our needs are our<\/strong><\/em> responsibility, it takes some of the pressure off of the relationship and makes it easier for our partner to meet some of our needs!<\/p>\n SECONDLY<\/strong><\/em>, you have to know what you need.<\/strong>\u00a0 What I find with my clients is that most people are woefully out of touch with their own needs.\u00a0 If we have assigned that job to someone else, then we don\u2019t have to think about it any more.\u00a0 If YOU don\u2019t know what it is that you need, though, then how will your partner know?<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0 We have to be in touch with our own feelings and know what it is that we need!\u00a0 The next time you feel unsatisfied, ask yourself what you are feeling. Let\u2019s say you feel lonely.\u00a0 Then ask yourself what you need.\u00a0 Maybe you need to be with people or need some connection time with your spouse.\u00a0 Ok. So then ask yourself how you can get that need met.<\/p>\n THIRDLY<\/strong><\/em>, you are going to have to ASK to get your needs met.<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I said ASK.\u00a0 I know it is not romantic and it doesn\u2019t feel quite as good, but you need to be able to ask to get your needs met. The \u201cIf my spouse loved me, he\/she would . . .(fill in the blank)\u201d garbage doesn\u2019t work!\u00a0 You are the only one who knows what you are feeling, what you need and when you need it!\u00a0 Asking your spouse to guess is like playing pin the tail on the donkey and usually both parties feel frustrated and unsatisfied!<\/p>\n FINALLY,<\/strong><\/em> you have to be able to meet your own needs.\u00a0<\/strong> To some of you, this will sound very lonely and unromantic and I understand that.\u00a0 I promise you, however, that this is a vital<\/strong> <\/em>step that is often missed.\u00a0 There will not always be someone available to meet your needs.\u00a0 You have to be able to meet them yourself at least minimally!\u00a0 Can you be alone?\u00a0 Can you be a friend to yourself?\u00a0 Can you enjoy your own company?\u00a0 We are so programmed to look to our spouse, friends, parents, children to meet our needs that we feel lost when an occasion arises where we need to meet our own!<\/p>\n Your \u201cNeed Tank\u201d is your responsibility.\u00a0 Learn what it takes to fill it and learn how to fill it yourself.\u00a0 Anything anyone deposits on top of that will feel wonderful and you will finally stop feeling desperate and needy and start feeling fulfilled!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Do you know how to get your needs met?\u00a0 Quite honestly, most people don\u2019t, at least by my observation!\u00a0 And this creates a population of needy, desperate, and unhappy people!! So how do you get your needs met in a healthy way?\u00a0 FIRST you have to understand that meeting your needs is YOUR responsibility.\u00a0 A […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3724","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marriage"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3724","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3724"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3724\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4349,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3724\/revisions\/4349"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3724"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3724"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3724"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}