{"id":3848,"date":"2015-02-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-02-16T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/moving-victim-victorious\/"},"modified":"2020-05-11T20:49:08","modified_gmt":"2020-05-11T20:49:08","slug":"moving-victim-victorious","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/moving-victim-victorious\/","title":{"rendered":"Moving From Victim To Victorious!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"selfWhen hardship happens in your life, how do you handle it?\u00a0 Do you metaphorically throw yourself down on the floor and have a kicking, screaming tantrum?\u00a0 Or do you accept it as part of life, push through it and grow in the process?\u00a0 Most of us would like to be able to give the latter answer, but in truth, our human nature oftentimes takes us the route of the tantrum – at least at first. When pain and loss strike, how do we move from Victim to Victorious?<\/p>\n

First and foremost, we have to allow ourselves to feel the pain of what is happening at an appropriate level.\u00a0 Many people minimize their pain, or shall we say \u2018talk themselves out of it\u2019 by comparing their pain to someone in a worse position.\u00a0 Somewhere along the road, someone has suggested that they shouldn\u2019t feel pain about the things going on in their lives.\u00a0 We all have pain \u2013 and it hurts!\u00a0 Even if someone else is experiencing something more painful, your pain is still real and it still hurts.\u00a0 You are allowed to feel it and grieve whatever loss you experienced, regardless of what anyone else thinks.<\/p>\n

\"victimIf you look at what I said earlier, however, you will see that I ended it with \u201cfeel the pain . . . at an appropriate level<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 Some people take their pain to the other extreme and feel as though their world has ended.\u00a0 This doesn\u2019t necessarily mean they are a drama king or queen, it is more likely that they have deep wounds attached to their loss and they have never really learned how to deal with loss when it occurs.\u00a0 If not careful, these people can spend the rest of their lives as victims of their loss and will never find peace.<\/p>\n

\"NotOnce we\u2019ve allowed ourselves to feel the pain of our loss, moving into the next stage of recovery takes a tremendous amount of strength.\u00a0 We have to let go of the past and move ourselves (sometimes forcibly) into the future.\u00a0 Everyone will do this at their own pace and what triggers us to finally make the shift will be different for everyone.\u00a0 For me, they were comments from people close to me that kind of stung.\u00a0 As I was crying about what had happened, someone said something about me \u201cwallowing in it\u201d.\u00a0 Ouch!\u00a0 While the comment stung, I came to realize that I had a choice. . . I could choose to wallow in my pain for the rest of my life \u2013 or \u2013 I could choose to live.\u00a0 I chose the latter.
\nI finally came to accept that pain is part of life and that I can\u2019t escape this life without it.\u00a0 I realized that I get to choose whether I spend my life locked inside my house with my pain or embracing all that life has to offer.<\/p>\n

Everyone gets to make their own choice.\u00a0 If we stay stuck in the pain of the past, we allow whatever hurt us to hurt us even more.\u00a0 If we choose to move forward from it and embrace life, however, we move from victim to Victorious!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When hardship happens in your life, how do you handle it?\u00a0 Do you metaphorically throw yourself down on the floor and have a kicking, screaming tantrum?\u00a0 Or do you accept it as part of life, push through it and grow in the process?\u00a0 Most of us would like to be able to give the latter […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,21,22,16,28,29,38,1],"tags":[618,843,424,396,438,450,1242,641,447,1585,420,484],"class_list":["post-3848","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-abandonment","category-affairs","category-anger","category-depression","category-divorce","category-grief","category-shame","category-uncategorized","tag-affair","tag-affair-recovery","tag-counseling","tag-divorce","tag-forgiveness","tag-grief","tag-kathy-henry","tag-loss","tag-marriage-counseling","tag-moving-on-after-divorce","tag-recovery","tag-separation"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3848","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3848"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3848\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4458,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3848\/revisions\/4458"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3848"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3848"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3848"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}