{"id":4047,"date":"2018-03-10T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-03-10T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/is-success-a-moving-target-part-ii\/"},"modified":"2020-05-11T20:49:19","modified_gmt":"2020-05-11T20:49:19","slug":"is-success-a-moving-target-part-ii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/is-success-a-moving-target-part-ii\/","title":{"rendered":"Is Success A Moving Target (Part II)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-14700 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/aaron-mello-142044-success_final-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"success\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" \/>Does success feel like a moving target?\u00a0 In <a href=\"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/is-success-a-moving-target\/\">Part 1<\/a>\u00a0we explored the idea that when success feels out of reach, we begin to tell ourselves a story that sounds similar to:\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>I\u2019m not enough <\/b><\/li>\n<li><strong>I\u2019m not doing enough<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><b>Everyone has it figured out but me<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This icky, \u201c<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019m not enough\u201d feeling,<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (AKA: <\/span><b>Shame<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">) can lead to us acting out in ways that don\u2019t always reflect the best\/bravest versions of ourselves and hinder our success. \u00a0This is largely due to the fact that when we are knee-deep in <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">shame\u2026We\u2019re terrified<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/brenebrown.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Dr. Brene\u2019 Brown<\/a>, a world renowned shame researcher, believes that storytelling is a key tool to strengthening our shame resilience and cultivating authentic relationships with others. \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cOwning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we\u2019ll ever do.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s such a powerful statement&#8230;but what does \u201cowning our story\u201d look like? Where do we begin?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The first step in owning our story is &#8211; <\/span><b><i>awareness<\/i><\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">; taking inventory of how we feel about ourselves, our relationships, and our place in the world. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Interested in deepening your awareness??? Here are three simple activities that have worked well for me:<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>Journaling <\/b>vs<b> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201c<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019m not enough<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201d<\/span><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Tracking time<\/strong> vs <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201c<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019m not doing enough<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Social Media<\/strong> vs<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u201c<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Everyone has it figured out but me\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4><b>Journaling<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> I have a hamster wheel in my head that spins and spins when I\u2019m feeling anxious or stressed and it gets in the way of my success. \u00a0One of the worst things I can do is continue to let my thoughts spiral out. It\u2019s moments like these that I feel like I\u2019m chasing the clock, never have enough time, and frantically try to do ten things at once (move laundry, answer emails, FaceTime friends, make dinner, while doing yoga). \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Putting pen to paper helps me pause, reflect, and become aware. \u00a0This brief pause opens up an opportunity to breathe and refocus. Almost without fail, after journaling I feel like time slows down just enough for me to relax, refocus, and rewrite my story from \u201cI suck,\u201d to, \u201cI can do this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><b>Tracking time <\/b><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0This exercise is relatively simple, but it requires a small measure of commitment. \u00a0For an afternoon, a day, a week, etc. &#8211; write down everything that you do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Recently, this exercise was tremendously helpful for me. \u00a0One of the stories I tell myself when I\u2019m stressed is, \u201cI\u2019m not enough, and\/or I\u2019m not doing enough.\u201d \u00a0For 10 days, I wrote down everything I did from the time I awoke to about and hour before sleep. I was BLOWN away by how much I accomplished in a day. \u00a0I became aware that a major contributor to my stress was that I was largely shifting the most challenging items on my to-do list to the end of my day (a common time management mistake), and would either be too tired or not have enough time to get to them. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This insight gave me the clarity to re-prioritize my day, which greatly reduced my stress, and helped me rewrite my story from, \u201cI\u2019m not doing enough,\u201d to, \u201cI can do it. I just need to change when I do it.\u201d and set me up for success.<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><b>Social Media<\/b><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the places where most people (with internet connection and mobile device) share their story is on SOCIAL MEDIA. \u00a0When I\u2019m knee-deep in my shame, the story I tell myself is, \u201cEveryone has it figured out but me.\u201d Then, I start scrolling on Instagram and Facebook. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I see friends, acquaintances, and freelance bloggers posting <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">perfect<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> pictures, with <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">perfect<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> filters of their <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">perfect<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> lives. These images become evidence for my story that, \u201cI\u2019m a slug, a loser, and everyone else has it all figured out.\u201d \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When I become aware, I have the opportunity to turn the story around. \u00a0Acknowledging my feelings through creating a post helps me take my power back. \u00a0I\u2019ll share a picture that makes me laugh, find a quote that inspires me, or re-post a memory that I love. \u00a0Using social media in this way helps me feel empowered and not take myself so seriously.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The stories we tell ourselves are a driving force behind how we feel about who we are and our place in the world. \u00a0Deepening our awareness, whether it\u2019s through journaling, time management, or posting on social media gives is the opportunity to reconnect with our best selves, so we can bring out the best in the world around us. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Does success feel like a moving target?\u00a0 In Part 1\u00a0we explored the idea that when success feels out of reach, we begin to tell ourselves a story that sounds similar to:\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m not enough I\u2019m not doing enough Everyone has it figured out but me \u00a0 This icky, \u201cI\u2019m not enough\u201d feeling, (AKA: Shame) can [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":4048,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[1920,424,1540,600,584,436,1653,1921,1894],"class_list":["post-4047","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-help","tag-best-self","tag-counseling","tag-failure","tag-self-help","tag-self-improvement","tag-shame","tag-success","tag-underachievement","tag-underachiever"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4047","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4047"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4047\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4629,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4047\/revisions\/4629"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4048"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4047"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4047"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4047"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}