{"id":4128,"date":"2020-01-30T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-01-30T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/blame\/"},"modified":"2020-05-11T20:49:22","modified_gmt":"2020-05-11T20:49:22","slug":"blame","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/blame\/","title":{"rendered":"Blame"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"blame\"Blame Is Ugly<\/b><\/h3>\n
\n

The Blame Game is a trap to keep you in a lower position in life. Blaming says, \u201cthere\u2019s nothing I can do about how I feel or respond to this scenario. I have no control, so I\u2019m a victim.\u201d It also perpetuates the \u201cshe or he is the bad guy, villain, and has total power\u201d story. \u201cI am only as worthy as the negative things that happen to me!\u201d\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Blame Is Disempowering<\/b><\/h3>\n
\n

\u201cMy abuse made me who I am!\u201d No, you are a whole person worthy of loving human expectations. You are not your abuse. \u201cBut she cheated!\u201d You are more than the negative, hurtful moments in your life.<\/p>\n

Blame Can Be Visited<\/b><\/h3>\n

Blame, like anger, isn\u2019t home-base. \u00a0It is a strong, protective experience in the brain that says, \u201cAll my attention is drawn to this for good reason.\u201d It\u2019s a starting point, something to notice or pay attention to, not home-base. Living IN blame would be like living in anger. Toxic!<\/p>\n

Blame Deflects From the Fullness of Truth<\/b><\/h3>\n

Understanding our reason to blame means understanding our why. This understanding reveals what needs we have and our reasoning. Our reasoning does not necessarily speak to the intention of others. This\u00a0is a one sided experience, like judging or having an opinion. It is unlike a universal truth. Blame doesn\u2019t speak to the \u201cWhy\u201d or intent.<\/p>\n

Blame Detracts From Reality<\/b><\/h3>\n

The reality is that we do from time to time become part of someone’s negative projection, coping, or issue. Whether we feel hurt, disappointed, or let down. These are acceptable and real parts of life. Because we all inadvertently disappoint and hurt each other. What you do with it matters. \u00a0Avoidance and denial only causes more helplessness which results in more anxiety, fear, and worry.<\/p>\n

Blame Lacks Personal Accountability<\/b><\/h3>\n

Blaming says I have no responsibility for myself with this situation. The issue has occurred in a vacuum and I am helpless to change my status. \u00a0If someone or something has harmed you or inflicted pain into your life, how you process and move through the challenge is up to you. That means taking responsibility for yourself in how you initially respond and what comes after.<\/p>\n

Don’t let the blame game ruin your life and your relationships. If you don\u2019t become empowered by life\u2019s challenges, the moments you feel offended will consume you and increase learned helplessness and anxiety. Don\u2019t allow yourself to become trapped by the lack of personal responsibility and growth that can come from life\u2019s challenges. Don\u2019t stop at blame. It\u2019s a fine place to visit, but you\u2019re better off taking personal responsibility for your reaction in order to move along so you begin to create more positive life experiences!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Blame Is Ugly The Blame Game is a trap to keep you in a lower position in life. Blaming says, \u201cthere\u2019s nothing I can do about how I feel or respond to this scenario. I have no control, so I\u2019m a victim.\u201d It also perpetuates the \u201cshe or he is the bad guy, villain, and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":4129,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,17],"tags":[2067,2068,465,1657,487,1104,2069,1434,522,2070,1691,561,407,1589,429,2066,649,777],"class_list":["post-4128","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-relationships","tag-accuse","tag-accusing","tag-anger","tag-anger-management","tag-arguing","tag-blame","tag-blame-game","tag-blaming","tag-communication","tag-communication-in-relationships","tag-conflict-in-relationship","tag-couples-counseling-indianapolis","tag-indianapolis-marriage-counseling","tag-indianapolis-therapy","tag-marriage","tag-relationship-counseling-indianapolis","tag-victim","tag-why-do-we-fight"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4128","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4128"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4128\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4662,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4128\/revisions\/4662"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4129"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4128"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4128"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4128"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}