{"id":4136,"date":"2020-05-06T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-05-06T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/is-toxic-positivity-causing-a-problem\/"},"modified":"2020-05-11T20:49:23","modified_gmt":"2020-05-11T20:49:23","slug":"is-toxic-positivity-causing-a-problem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/is-toxic-positivity-causing-a-problem\/","title":{"rendered":"Is Toxic Positivity Causing A Problem?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-15427 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/priscilla-du-preez-ELnxUDFs6ec-unsplashfinal-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"toxic positivity\" width=\"389\" height=\"259\" \/>Have you ever heard of toxic positivity?\u00a0 A good example is when you&#8217;ve opened up to someone about your feelings or what you have been struggling with and they responded back with some type of an \u201c<strong><em>at least<\/em><\/strong>\u201d statement? \u201cWell, <em><strong>at least<\/strong><\/em>, you still have ___.\u201d \u201cAt least ___ didn\u2019t happen.\u201d Once you hear that you give s somber \u201cyeah, you\u2019re right\u201d and then feel like you need to move on and get over it.\u00a0 Toxic positivity is defined as the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy and optimistic state in a situation, (<em>Tanglaw Mental Health<\/em>). The issue with toxic positivity is that it can give the person who is confiding in you that their feelings are now being minimized or shamed, not validated like they should be, even though that might not be the intention.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I admit that this is something that I have personally done with my friends or family. I\u2019ve tried being optimistic and having them look at the positives in the situation. However, toxic positivity lacks empathy it keeps us from connecting with others by keeping us on the surface.\u00a0 The reason we do it is because most of us are uncomfortable being around someone when they express a lot of pain.\u00a0 We use toxic positivity to bring the person up out of their pain so that <em><strong>we<\/strong><\/em> can feel more comfortable.\u00a0 Unfortunately, that also kills the opportunity for intimacy.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h3>Now that you know more about it, here are some suggestions for better responses in the future to avoid toxic positivity. . .<\/h3>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4>Instead of\u2026.\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Say\u2026.<\/h4>\n<p>-\u201cEverything happens for a reason.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 -\u201cIt\u2019s okay to feel bad sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>-\u201cFailure is not an option\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 -\u201cFailure is part of growth\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>-\u201cIt could be worse\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 -\u201cSometimes we experience bad things. How can I support you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>-\u201cLook on the bright side\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 -\u201cIt can be difficult to see the good in this situation, but we will<\/p>\n<p>make sense of it when we can.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 (Tanglaw Mental Health)<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>When someone is being vulnerable with you, they are showing you they trust you with their emotions and taking a risk. Remember, the most important role of being a listener is to make sure that the person speaking feels heard and validated. Don\u2019t allow toxic positivity to get in the way of someone\u2019s vulnerability.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em><strong><span style=\"color: #993366;\">\u201cAn empathetic response never begins with \u201cat least,\u201d -Bren\u00e9 Brown<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have you ever heard of toxic positivity?\u00a0 A good example is when you&#8217;ve opened up to someone about your feelings or what you have been struggling with and they responded back with some type of an \u201cat least\u201d statement? \u201cWell, at least, you still have ___.\u201d \u201cAt least ___ didn\u2019t happen.\u201d Once you hear that [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":4137,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[31,17],"tags":[912,522,561,646,407,499,500,429,2091,420,430,534,2094],"class_list":["post-4136","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-intimacy","category-relationships","tag-carmel-marriage-counseling","tag-communication","tag-couples-counseling-indianapolis","tag-empathy","tag-indianapolis-marriage-counseling","tag-intimacy","tag-marital-conflict","tag-marriage","tag-north-indianapolis-marriage-counseling","tag-recovery","tag-relationships","tag-self-differentiation","tag-toxic-positivity"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4136","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4136"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4136\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4667,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4136\/revisions\/4667"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4137"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4136"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4136"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healingheartsofindy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4136"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}