Photo by Kalen Emsley on Unsplash
Want to know 5 key recovery tips after a toxic relationship? Whether you were with a textbook Narcissist or someone who was simply not a healthy fit for your life. A relationship that adds toxicity will leave behind residual pain. Here are some important things to keep in mind during your tough healing period.
1. Accepting Reality: They are who they are.
Your fictitious world were your ex starts finally living up to all of their untapped potential does not exist. They are indeed the person they show you they are—believe it. Regardless of how many plans were made. Regardless of how “deep down” you “just know” they are better than this, their actions do not align with your narrative. Watch what they do after it’s over—they will show you their true colors.
2. Cutting off communication.
Outside of visitation arrangements for your children or some type of extenuating emergency, there is no reason to continue conversing with your ex. Any other excuse that is made is simply prolonging your heartbreak and lengthening your recovery time. Secondarily, it seems as though people love to gossip. You may need to politely silence some “reporters” as well in order to maintain focus on what truly matters: your personal peace and well-being.
3. Recognizing your other emotional supports.
FRIENDS. Remember them? They’re pretty great too, and sometimes even more reliable emotional support than significant others, as they typically come with fewer strings attached. Lean into your relationships with close friends and family members as you transition. These are the people who loved you before your last relationship and the ones who will remind you of how amazing you can and will be on your own.
4. Giving yourself closure, even if they won’t.
Write them a letter and burn it, take a day-trip alone to clear your head, scream into your pillow. Understand that you are worth coming out of this pain a stronger and happier version of yourself! Give yourself time to process the relationship and take some of this time to reflect by yourself about the events that happened. Do not put a time limit on your recovery or berate yourself by placing unrealistic expectations on where you believe you “should” be by now.
5. Showing yourself the love you deserve.
That cliché about the importance of “loving yourself first” is a cliché for a reason—because it holds truth. Take this time for you! Pick up a new hobby or go to the restaurant you’ve wanted to try. Spoil yourself with a weekend filled of all your favorite things. There is so much value in the days and weeks spent getting to know oneself as an individual outside of a romantic relationship. By taking this much-needed space for self-discovery, you are setting yourself up to attract the kind of positive life you deserve.
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