Gaslighting vs. Respectful Disagreements In the complex landscape of human interactions, disagreements are inevitable. They are a natural part of life, stemming from...
Gaslighting vs. Respectful Disagreements
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Category: Communication
Before The Fire Starts
Did you just start a relationship or do you find yourself glancing at the new diamond on your hand? Or maybe you just celebrated your 5th year anniversary. What an exciting...
Am I Being Manipulated?
Do you ever wonder "Am I being manipulated?" To manipulate, by definition, means to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one’s advantage. This behavior can often be...
Four Horsemen
In the Gottman Theory, John and Julie Gottman use an analogy to describe when a marriage could be on the brink of destruction called the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:...
Communication
Do you sometimes get the feeling that your partner is not listening or understanding what you’re trying to say? Are there moments where you leave an argument feeling confused,...
Rewriting History
Rewriting history is when someone recounts certain events, but they spin or twist the facts around usually so that they are the victim of the story instead of having any fault in...
Blame
Blame Is Ugly The Blame Game is a trap to keep you in a lower position in life. Blaming says, “there’s nothing I can do about how I feel or respond to this scenario. I have no...
Is Criticism Effective In Creating Change?
There is a lot of talk about "constructive" criticism, but is it really effective in creating change? Julie and John Gottman, couples’ therapists and researchers, suggest...
Applying the Love Languages
Most clients I have met have heard of The Five Love Languages (by Dr. Gary Chapman), and many even know their own preferences. That being said, some struggle to apply this...
How To Use Your “Wise Mind”
The human brain has two sides, each of which has an important function. Depending on one’s personality and extenuating circumstances, one side may become more active than the...
The Power of Saying What We NEED
What you need The power of saying what we need in a relationship is absolutely vital to it's success. Have you ever had a really bad day? A day where it seemed like nothing went...
Hailstorm vs. Turtle
The Hailstorm vs. Turtle is an analogy created by Harville Hendrix to explain some of the very different ways a couple can behave and react within a relationship. Considering all...
Boundaries 101
Welcome to Boundaries 101! Boundaries are a popular and sometimes confusing topic of discussion surrounding relationships. What is a boundary? How do we set healthy boundaries?...
Are You Addicted To Your Smart Phone?
Are you addicted to your smart phone? How do we wrestle with the VERY real connection we have with our cellphones? For a weekend, I tried “breaking up” with my phone, after...
Overcoming Defensiveness
Defensiveness: When individuals feel attacked or misunderstood they often act out in ways to protect themselves. Many individuals get defensive when they are feeling...
The Biggest Problems With Communication
“The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” Wow! Did George Bernard Shaw really hit the nail on the head with this quote! Couples...
What do you mean by that?
Have you ever been in a conversation where someone smiled, acted polite, and used all of the politically correct phrasing… but something just felt off? Or have you ever said yes...
Cruelty Masked As Honesty
Has this ever happened to you? Someone offered “helpful advice” that felt like an insult? An employer gives you a performance evaluation, but you left feeling like they want you...
The Pain Of Projection
I recently got a vivid reminder of the power - and pain - of projection. Projection is when you project your worst beliefs or fears about yourself onto someone else and believe...
Instant Gratification
Wow, do we live in a culture that loves it some instant gratification, am I right? I’m reminded of a video I saw once where a gal was going around asking random people on the...
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