Category: Uncategorized
A Matter of Perspective

A Matter of Perspective

  Lately, the phrase "first world problems" has been buzzing around. One minute, our problems can seem so huge and life-changing and the next, after some perspective, the same...

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Overcoming Defensiveness

Overcoming Defensiveness

  Defensiveness: When individuals feel attacked or misunderstood they often act out in ways to protect themselves. Many individuals get defensive when they are feeling...

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Letting Go of Resentment.

What is one issue that has been a common theme that hurts and even destroys relationships? I would define it as a marriage killer. The issue is resentment. Even working a lot...

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The Blame Game

All blame is a waste of time.  How can I say that, do you suppose?  I mean, come on...there are times when people deserve to get blamed.  There IS such a thing as "fault" after...

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The Pain Of Codependence

If you have codependence, you know it can be painful.  But WHY?  Where does the pain come from and how can we make it stop?  In my opinion, the deepest pain of codependence comes...

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The Seven Year *itch

If you can pardon the somewhat vulgar insinuation, I promise I have a point to my choice for the title of this blog.  I just brewed up some Wild Mountain Blueberry coffee and am...

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10 Signs You Have Abandonment Issues

Abandonment issues? Wondering for sure if you have them or not?  You don’t have to have been left in a basket on a church doorstep in order to have abandonment issues.  I myself...

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Insulation vs. Isolation

By request...today we are going to talk about a way of thinking, a paradigm that will help navigate the waters of relationship with folks that may not always be all that safe....

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The Illusion of Control

Control is a really common topic in my office. One very simplistic definition of anxiety is "an over-focus on things that may or may not happen," in other words...thinking too...

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Guilt vs. Shame

While it may seem that these words are synonyms, there is a difference between guilt and shame.  A very important difference, actually.  I just made myself some wild mountain...

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What Is Your Anger Pointing To?

What is your anger pointing to?  This is such a difficult, but oh so important question because most of us think we know the answer. And when we “ know” the answer, we naturally...

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Why Do You NEED To Win The Argument?

Why do some arguments never end?  Why do you need to win?  Why do you just have to get the other person to see it your way?  These are the very things that keep many couples...

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Choosing Your People

Choosing Your People

It is a bright moment in a person's life when the realization comes that there are choices in relationships and the form, substance and significance of those relationships. We...

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Comparisons

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” ~Theodore Roosevelt Do you remember the game “Roshambo”? You might know it better as “Rock, Paper, Scissors.” Did you play this game as a kid?...

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A True Test Of Character

Want a true test of your character?  Try answering these questions . . .  Does your spouse respect you?  Do people view you as humble?  Do your co-workers trust you to do the...

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Constructive Criticism

Is there such a thing as constructive criticism?  I was listening to a training by John and Julie Gottman, a couple of the most well-respected couples therapists and researchers,...

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Is Your Pain Too Much?

Is your pain too great?  Who gets to say if it’s too big, too small, or just right? When trauma strikes, make no mistake, you will feel the pain of it.  You may sense that you...

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