Someone asked me recently if, by the time a couple seeks marriage counseling, is it already too late? Excellent question! Let me make 2 points in answering this question . . . The Earlier The Better: It is true that the earlier a couple comes, the less damage has been… [Read More]
The Pain Of Projection
I recently got a vivid reminder of the power – and pain – of projection. Projection is when you project your worst beliefs or fears about yourself onto someone else and believe that the other person actually feels that way. Think of a slide projector – if the slide in… [Read More]
Sometimes Intimacy Hurts
Today I would like to discuss one of the finer points of intimacy. There is a mis-conception I’d like to take a swing at clearing up, about what intimacy actually is and how to do it well. In particular, I’d like to talk today about how sometimes intimacy hurts. … [Read More]
The Cure For Loneliness
There are lots of times when clients come in to my office and talk about feeling lonely. They may even be married and have lots of friends, and still they say that they are lonely. The truth is, you can absolutely feel lonely sitting smack dab in the middle of… [Read More]
The Seven Year *itch
If you can pardon the somewhat vulgar insinuation, I promise I have a point to my choice for the title of this blog. I just brewed up some Wild Mountain Blueberry coffee and am curled up by the fireplace with a warm blanket and my sweet kitty Bart, (ahhh!) and… [Read More]
Toxic Relationships
Toxic relationships can include family, friends, co-workers, intimate partners, spouses, just about anyone. Even an acquaintance. Though toxic relationships tend to seem okay on the surface, they are often destructive. You can identify a toxic relationship with some questions. Do you tend to override your instincts? Do you find yourself… [Read More]
Marital Love: Conditional or Unconditional?
When we think about marital love, we think about commitment and wanting that union to go the distance. We want to think and believe that our love when we’re married will never fade or go away. With a divorce rate at 50% or more in our current culture, we know… [Read More]
Why You Should Be Thankful for Your Marital Crisis
I hope I did not lose too many readers after reading the title. Trust me; I know if you are in marital crisis at the moment, there is no part of you that is “thankful.” The pain can be so deep and all consuming, it is hard to ever imagine… [Read More]
Why can’t you just love me?
Love and connection…that’s what clients want that come in for marriage counseling. The multiple divorces and remarriages are evidence of the lack of love people feel in relationships. So why does it seem so difficult to have something that seems simple and easy. Love costs nothing, love is safe, love… [Read More]
What Is Your Anger Pointing To?
What is your anger pointing to? This is such a difficult, but oh so important question because most of us think we know the answer. And when we “ know” the answer, we naturally deny it’s possible for our anger to be coming from somewhere else. If you are willing, however,… [Read More]
