Category: Abandonment
Living In Reactivity

Living In Reactivity

Have you ever been in a relationship living in reactivity, feeling like a screech owl? Some people believe no one can ‘make’ us feel anything. They believe it is all up to us....

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Taming The Abandonment Beast

Taming The Abandonment Beast

If you have abandonment, you know there is quite an art to taming the abandonment beast.  It is a force to be reckoned with, for sure, and needs to be tamed in order to have a...

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Fix This To Fix Your Abandonment

Want to know a huge factor in healing your abandonment? It is a very important building block in our overall development and if you suffer from abandonment, you also suffer from...

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The Blame Game

All blame is a waste of time.  How can I say that, do you suppose?  I mean, come on...there are times when people deserve to get blamed.  There IS such a thing as "fault" after...

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The Pain Of Codependence

If you have codependence, you know it can be painful.  But WHY?  Where does the pain come from and how can we make it stop?  In my opinion, the deepest pain of codependence comes...

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10 Signs You Have Abandonment Issues

Abandonment issues? Wondering for sure if you have them or not?  You don’t have to have been left in a basket on a church doorstep in order to have abandonment issues.  I myself...

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What Is Your Anger Pointing To?

What is your anger pointing to?  This is such a difficult, but oh so important question because most of us think we know the answer. And when we “ know” the answer, we naturally...

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Why Do You NEED To Win The Argument?

Why do some arguments never end?  Why do you need to win?  Why do you just have to get the other person to see it your way?  These are the very things that keep many couples...

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Is Your Pain Too Much?

Is your pain too great?  Who gets to say if it’s too big, too small, or just right? When trauma strikes, make no mistake, you will feel the pain of it.  You may sense that you...

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Violent Communication

Do you use violent ways to communicate?  I don’t mean physically hurting someone (although we certainly don’t want that, either!)  What I’m talking about are ways that we...

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Abandonment: Can It Be Healed?

Abandonment issues are so common.  You don't have to have been left on the doorstep of an orphanage to know what abandonment feels like.  In fact, you can have two very loving,...

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3 Parts of You

Do you know the different parts of yourself? Most of us are only vaguely aware of the 3 different parts that I like to talk about in counseling:  The Adult, The Little Boy/Girl,...

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Stress and Anxiety

Life events trigger your brain to release certain chemicals. Your brain is capable of releasing seratonins, dopamines, and panic inducing chemicals. When there is a great deal of...

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The Blame Game

How do you discuss tough topics? If you are able to self-differentiate, not define yourself based on another person's actions or words, then you are able to hear another...

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Are You Holding Yourself Back?

Are you holding yourself back?  I read something recently about self-limiting beliefs and it reminded me how important our thoughts are.  I was holding myself back and didn’t...

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Are Your Emotions Unstable?

Do your emotions sometimes feel unstable?  Do you find yourself doing things you thought or promised you wouldn’t do? Does your partner?  You may be experiencing what I call the...

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The Most Powerful Last Word

Do you need to have the last word in an argument?  Why is it so hard to let the conversation die without having the last say?  What drives this compulsive need to make the last...

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Intimacy Builder: Validation

Validation simply means acknowledging, and giving importance to, the worldview of another. Validation is a powerful tool in a therapist’s toolbag, and can disarm anxiety and...

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