Blame Is Ugly The Blame Game is a trap to keep you in a lower position in life. Blaming says, “there’s nothing I can do about how I feel or respond to this scenario. I have no...
Is Criticism Effective In Creating Change?
by Javan | Jan 7, 2020
There is a lot of talk about "constructive" criticism, but is it really effective in creating change? Julie and John Gottman, couples’ therapists and researchers, suggest...
Are You Guilty Of Unhealthy Loyalty & Obligation?
by Javan | May 19, 2019
Are you guilty of unhealthy loyalty & obligation? If you're in a relationship with an addict, you can probably are but you may not recognize it. Do you ever ask yourself...
It’s All About Them: Living With An Addict
by Javan | May 3, 2019
When living with an addict, it's all about them. Conversations, resources, time and other moments in your shared life tend to revolve around the addicted person. Do you...
Are You Suffering From Caregiver Burnout?
by Javan | Mar 16, 2018
Are you suffering from caregiver burnout? Exhausted? Spent? Not working with the same compassionate heart that got you into the profession you're in? You may be suffering from...
by Javan | Nov 28, 2017
Acknowledging that an affair has occurred is a frightening step. Between the betrayal and the loss of trust, acknowledgement can be both very difficult and painful. Facing the...
The Pain Of Codependence
by Javan | Apr 25, 2016
If you have codependence, you know it can be painful. But WHY? Where does the pain come from and how can we make it stop? In my opinion, the deepest pain of codependence comes...
Your Thoughts Make Your Reality
by Javan | Apr 25, 2016
The stories we tell ourselves influence how we behave, decisions we make, and how we see others and ourselves. What if thoughts we have, make a reality we don't like? Ask...
by Javan | Mar 11, 2016
Toxic relationships can include family, friends, co-workers, intimate partners, spouses, just about anyone. Even an acquaintance. Though toxic relationships tend to seem okay on...
Why Can’t You Just Love Me?
by Javan | Feb 16, 2016
Love and connection...that's what clients want that come in for marriage counseling. The multiple divorces and remarriages are evidence of the lack of love people feel in...
Anger and Healthy Boundaries
by Javan | Jan 26, 2016
Have you felt strongly about something when you're really irritated, but then forget about that same thing like it was no big deal? Or have a bad thing happen that put you in a...
When Expectations Meet Reality
by Javan | Jan 15, 2016
We don't often think about the realm between expectation and reality. Usually, people move through life believing and trusting that everyday expectations and big picture...
Giving and Recieving Love
by Javan | Dec 4, 2015
Allow others to love you! Do you know how to love yourself and others? Your family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, strangers, neighbors? Do you know how to let others love...
Say What You Mean
by Javan | Nov 12, 2015
Communication. It sounds simple and easy enough. More often than not, we don't say what we mean. And most of the time, we don't express what we feel. If you feel you're...
A Matter of Perspective
by Javan | Nov 2, 2015
I was in a training session the other day about taking a biblical approach to anxiety and depression counseling, and a picture came into my mind about our perspectives in life...
by Javan | Jul 7, 2015
Do you feel emotionally drained? Are you physically drained? Are you surrounded by people who need you? Do you find yourself thinking about other people’s problems? Is it hard to...
Reality of Marriage
by Javan | May 28, 2015
Falling in love and getting married…..it seems so happy. Planning the party, imagining living together, hoping to get every type of happiness is pretty normal for most couples....
by Javan | May 17, 2015
Maneuvering through your own reactions takes understanding and knowledge of yourself. How you learned to manage your disappointment and frustration over the years contributes to...
Your Critical Inner Voice
by Javan | May 8, 2015
What does your internal critical voice say about you? What do you hear? If you listen, you might hear an overly critical voice. What is an inner critical voice? A critical voice...
by Javan | May 3, 2015
Are you living or existing? Do you know if you're making choices based on past life hurts or are you able to really see life in the "here and now?" Life is full of ups, downs,...