It’s All About Them: Living With An Addict
By: Javan
May 3, 2019

Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash


When living with an addict, it’s all about them.  Conversations, resources, time and other moments in your shared life tend to revolve around the addicted person. Do you have a family member who tends to stir up other family members or a spouse or significant other who tends to pull other relationships, time, and money towards themselves?

Signs of living with an addict. . .

  • Being told stories or scenarios that don’t add up
  • A gut feeling that something isn’t right
  • Not feeling involved in financial decisions
  • Not feeling included in the details of your partner’s life
  • When you bring up concerns or issues, your partner minimizes or dismisses these issues or concerns
  • Feeling like secrets are not being shared
  • Lack of transparency
  • Extreme neediness

Do conversations, resources, time and other moments in your shared life tend to revolve around the other person?

These are all the red flags and warning signs that a relationship or a person is out of balance. A person who is struggling with addiction will tend to have a higher sense of importance either through fear based or pleasure based experiences. Such focus points to a bit of narcissism. There is just too much self importance.

Narcissism doesn’t have to be an ugly, scary word. Being overly self focused falls on a spectrum much like other personality types. When dealing with addiction it’s clear to see how this self focus becomes a high-priority throughout someone’s life. It is the sole focus that steals away time, money, resources and attention from all the other people who surround the addicted person.

If you or someone you know is living with addiction somewhere in their life, please reach out to me so that I can help. Life doesn’t have to be a struggle. Even when facing addiction, there are ways to feel peace, to love, and to grow.