Category: Shame

Rewriting History

Rewriting history is when someone recounts certain events, but they spin or twist the facts around usually so that they are the victim of the story instead of having any fault in...

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Guilt? Ok  Shame? No Way!

Guilt? Ok Shame? No Way!

GUILT? OK  SHAME? NO WAY Allowing guilt to manifest in shame is a harmful process that occurs way too often. Guilt is healthy. Shame is unhealthy. But I am far ahead of myself,...

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Shame, Shame, Shame!

Shame, Shame, Shame!

Healthy shame: I did something bad. I hurt someone’s feelings when I said that and feel bad about it. Toxic shame: I am bad. I am worthless and an utter failure. Do you see the...

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Your Thoughts Make Your Reality

The stories we tell ourselves influence how we behave, decisions we make, and how we see others and ourselves. What if thoughts we have, make a reality we don't like? Ask...

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The Pain Of Codependence

If you have codependence, you know it can be painful.  But WHY?  Where does the pain come from and how can we make it stop?  In my opinion, the deepest pain of codependence comes...

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Guilt vs. Shame

While it may seem that these words are synonyms, there is a difference between guilt and shame.  A very important difference, actually.  I just made myself some wild mountain...

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Why Do You NEED To Win The Argument?

Why do some arguments never end?  Why do you need to win?  Why do you just have to get the other person to see it your way?  These are the very things that keep many couples...

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Constructive Criticism

Is there such a thing as constructive criticism?  I was listening to a training by John and Julie Gottman, a couple of the most well-respected couples therapists and researchers,...

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Mindfulness – One Experience

It was Friday evening at twilight, her time. She left all electronics, except her phone, in the house and carried her glass of Pinot out to the back deck. Sitting down, she...

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Your Critical Inner Voice

What does your internal critical voice say about you? What do you hear? If you listen, you might hear an overly critical voice. What is an inner critical voice? A critical voice...

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3 Parts of You

Do you know the different parts of yourself? Most of us are only vaguely aware of the 3 different parts that I like to talk about in counseling:  The Adult, The Little Boy/Girl,...

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Moving From Victim To Victorious!

When hardship happens in your life, how do you handle it?  Do you metaphorically throw yourself down on the floor and have a kicking, screaming tantrum?  Or do you accept it as...

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I Blame Myself For Loving You!

 Here's a video link for listening/watching instead. Just copy and paste. http://youtu.be/mmuvnvIbdDQ Do you often ask yourself, "What did I do to deserve this? "  You are...

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Procrastination and Perfectionism

Today we are going to look at what procrastination and perfectionism have to do with each other.  Do you have procrastination tendencies, like me?  Do you wish you could stop,...

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Thoughts On Failure

‘Round about the end of January, many folks are beating themselves up and having feelings of failure in keeping their new year’s resolutions. There are other times any time of...

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How 1 Word Changed My Shame

If you have shame - you know, that nagging, nasty inner voice that tells you everything you haven't done, everything you should've done differently, and how you otherwise just...

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