Blogs By: Nancy

The Cure For Loneliness

There are lots of times when clients come in to my office and talk about feeling lonely. They may even be married and have lots of friends, and still they say that they are...

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Instant Gratification

Wow, do we live in a culture that loves it some instant gratification, am I right? I’m reminded of a video I saw once where a gal was going around asking random people on the...

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“It’s Going to be OK”

I had a client the other day remind me of something that illustrates a great point about being a good friend…particularly being a good friend when your friend is in pain for some...

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The Seven Year *itch

If you can pardon the somewhat vulgar insinuation, I promise I have a point to my choice for the title of this blog.  I just brewed up some Wild Mountain Blueberry coffee and am...

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Insulation vs. Isolation

By request...today we are going to talk about a way of thinking, a paradigm that will help navigate the waters of relationship with folks that may not always be all that safe....

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The Illusion of Control

Control is a really common topic in my office. One very simplistic definition of anxiety is "an over-focus on things that may or may not happen," in other words...thinking too...

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Guilt vs. Shame

While it may seem that these words are synonyms, there is a difference between guilt and shame.  A very important difference, actually.  I just made myself some wild mountain...

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Play Like A Champion Today

Remember that good ole Notre Dame Fighting Irish banner?  There has been a theme in my office this week. Odd how that happens, but it seems to pretty often, and when it does, I...

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Comparisons

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” ~Theodore Roosevelt Do you remember the game “Roshambo”? You might know it better as “Rock, Paper, Scissors.” Did you play this game as a kid?...

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The Valley Of The Shadow

Folks come to my office asking for counsel on all kinds of things.  Anger issues, help with communication, depression, anxiety, marital problems, trauma or addiction...

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Constructive Criticism

Is there such a thing as constructive criticism?  I was listening to a training by John and Julie Gottman, a couple of the most well-respected couples therapists and researchers,...

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Boundary vs. Ultimatum

I cannot tell you how many times I have helped folks who have difficulties having boundaries to develop better ones, only to have their spouses get super reactive to those new...

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Caregiver Burnout

Those who spend a great deal of their life caring for others...whether that be an ailing family member, someone with a chronic or terminal illness, or your patients if you work...

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How To Have Good Boundaries

I am often asked the question in my office, "How do I have good boundaries?"  I must admit, many times my clients aren't super happy with the answer I give, and may think I'm...

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Yes, or No?

I ran across a really good quote today that spoke to me.  Louie Giglio said "Whenever you say yes to something, there is less of you for something else.  Make sure your yes is...

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The Marriage Saver

People ask me now and again, what is the key to staying married for the long haul?  My parents are about to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary, and it is obvious to anyone...

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Abandonment: Can It Be Healed?

Abandonment issues are so common.  You don't have to have been left on the doorstep of an orphanage to know what abandonment feels like.  In fact, you can have two very loving,...

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A Balancing Act – Parenting

Today we’re going to talk a little bit about parenting.   Specifically, I want to address the balance between love and discipline. Have you ever thought about the need for a...

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The “Fixer”

The “Fixer”

What happens when your partner or friend tells you about a problem? Do you automatically go into “fix it” mode? It’s a pretty common response to want to right a wrong. Something...

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