Category: Codependent

The Blame Game

All blame is a waste of time.  How can I say that, do you suppose?  I mean, come on...there are times when people deserve to get blamed.  There IS such a thing as "fault" after...

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The Pain Of Codependence

If you have codependence, you know it can be painful.  But WHY?  Where does the pain come from and how can we make it stop?  In my opinion, the deepest pain of codependence comes...

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Insulation vs. Isolation

By request...today we are going to talk about a way of thinking, a paradigm that will help navigate the waters of relationship with folks that may not always be all that safe....

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Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships can include family, friends, co-workers, intimate partners, spouses, just about anyone. Even an acquaintance. Though toxic relationships tend to seem okay on...

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The Illusion of Control

Control is a really common topic in my office. One very simplistic definition of anxiety is "an over-focus on things that may or may not happen," in other words...thinking too...

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Why Do You NEED To Win The Argument?

Why do some arguments never end?  Why do you need to win?  Why do you just have to get the other person to see it your way?  These are the very things that keep many couples...

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Choosing Your People

Choosing Your People

It is a bright moment in a person's life when the realization comes that there are choices in relationships and the form, substance and significance of those relationships. We...

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Boundary vs. Ultimatum

I cannot tell you how many times I have helped folks who have difficulties having boundaries to develop better ones, only to have their spouses get super reactive to those new...

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Is Your No Broken?

Is your No broken?  Do you find you can't say No? Tired of your mouth saying “Yes” when your brain says “No”?  Do you accept invitations out of guilt instead of desire?  Do you...

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Yes, or No?

I ran across a really good quote today that spoke to me.  Louie Giglio said "Whenever you say yes to something, there is less of you for something else.  Make sure your yes is...

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3 Parts of You

Do you know the different parts of yourself? Most of us are only vaguely aware of the 3 different parts that I like to talk about in counseling:  The Adult, The Little Boy/Girl,...

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The Blame Game

How do you discuss tough topics? If you are able to self-differentiate, not define yourself based on another person's actions or words, then you are able to hear another...

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Are Your Emotions Unstable?

Do your emotions sometimes feel unstable?  Do you find yourself doing things you thought or promised you wouldn’t do? Does your partner?  You may be experiencing what I call the...

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