In this day addiction has been talked about as being a problem in many people’s lives. Family members engage in interventions to help their loved ones know that their use is a problem.
There are many people who attend self help groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous, to manage the repercussions of substances. Our country has many addiction treatment centers that will help with reduction of substance use. But, there is still addiction that runs rampant in people’s lives even after they attend or join many of these stated above. Why? Some may say that its because they were not ready to get sober or they did not “get anything out of it.” These statements can and have been true for people that I have worked with. Being ready to end the substance use is a huge challenge for most. So why do I believe that substances are not the problem?
Have you heard or told someone, “if you just get sober then everything would be ok.” Unfortunately, from my experience, that is not the case. In my experience I have seen people come in and out of treatment facilities struggling to “just get sober.” Getting sober is the end result of an equation that no one knows. Sometimes, not even the one who struggles with addiction.
Our brains and bodies have an ability to become dependent or addicted to substances. If the substance is introduced multiple times and provides relief or euphoria then our brains and bodies want more. So to go back to the title, substances are not the problem. The substances provided relief to the problem.
For example, if I am sad or bored then I might drink alcohol to increase my feelings of happiness. My brain correlates that alcohol helped me be happier and less bored. With this correlation I will continue to use alcohol to reduce the unwanted feelings. In this example the
sadness and boredom came first and alcohol was my solution. Here is another example, if I feel sexually frustrated with my partner I may turn to pornography to satisfy my needs. If I continue to have problems in the bedroom with my partner I will continue to utilize pornography. The problem is not pornography the problem is my sexual relationship with my partner. These examples of the problem happen before the substance is part of the equation.
When we realize that our problem comes before the addiction then the ultimate goal is to figure out what the problem is. In working with individuals struggling from an addiction I have noticed that they come in with an underlying distortion in perspective of who they are. And once they are “labeled” as an addict of some sort this may increase feelings of guilt and shame. Nobody I have worked with wakes up and says I want to be an addict. A lot of people wake up and say I want to be happy. I want to have peace. I just want to feel loved. The substance or behavior is not the problem. The problems are the negative feelings or uncomfortable thoughts of who you are as an individual.
Substances are the solution to a problem that is too scary to look at on your own. When you stop using substances or engaging in addictive behaviors you can start addressing the real problem. Standing face to face with depression, anger, loneliness or shame can be really hard on your own. Having a trusted support system is important for accountability and to help when things get tough. If you are finding yourself getting too angry, lonely or tired, take the first step and reach out.
emotions without the fear of judgement or rejection. Let men feel like their feelings are just as important as women. And show men love and compassion. It is critical to change the narrative for men’s mental health.
MindWise Innovations, (2022). Riverside Community Care.
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