From Survival to Self-Worth: Understanding the Fawn Response in CPTSD
For individuals with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), certain responses to
stress, like “fight or flight,” can be overshadowed by a lesser-known survival response
called fawning. While it may look like “people-pleasing” from the outside, fawning is a deeply
rooted trauma response that arises from repeated exposure to relational trauma—such as
childhood neglect, emotional abuse, or unstable caregiving.
Fawning involves comforting, pleasing, or accommodating others to defuse tension and avoid potential conflict. Those who
“fawn” may find themselves over-apologizing, setting aside their own needs, or agreeing to things that don’t feel right just to maintain a sense of safety. While this behavior often develops in response to challenging environments, it can later become a pattern that makes it difficult to establish healthy boundaries or feel a strong sense of self.
How CPTSD Leads to a Fawn Response
In cases of CPTSD, prolonged exposure to traumatic situations—particularly within
relationships—creates an environment where self-protection strategies like fawning feel
essential. Fawning may have been a necessary response to unpredictable or unsafe relationships,
but as a long-term pattern, it can erode self-worth and hinder authentic connections. This survival
response can leave individuals feeling “stuck,” unable to assert their needs or fully express
themselves in relationships.
Signs of the Fawn Response in CPTSD:
-Feeling responsible for others’ emotions and well-being
-Struggling to say “no” or set healthy boundaries
-Constantly adjusting your behavior to avoid conflict
-A sense of guilt or anxiety when considering your own needs
-Losing touch with your personal identity or values
Breaking Free from the Fawn Response
Healing from CPTSD involves reclaiming your voice, boundaries, and sense of self. Therapy can
provide a safe, supportive space to explore these patterns, understand their origins, and gradually
replace them with healthy, balanced ways of relating. By working with a trauma-informed
therapist, you can:
-Recognize Triggers: Learn to identify situations that activate the fawn response.
-Rebuild Boundaries: Practice setting and maintaining boundaries that respect your
needs.
-Restore Self-Worth: Develop a stronger sense of self, independent of others’ approval.
-Create Authentic Connections: Begin forming relationships where you feel safe to be
yourself.
Additional Resource: “The Cure for Chronic Pain” Podcast
For more on this topic, consider listening to The Cure for Chronic Pain with Nicole Sachs,
LCSW, especially Episode 131 – The “Fawning” Trauma Response and People Pleasing. This
episode dives into the psychology behind fawning and offers insights into why it’s so common
for trauma survivors. (Tip: skip the first 7 minutes to get right to the discussion as she goes through initial promotions.) It’s a great companion resource for anyone looking to understand and overcome the fawn response.
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