The stories we tell ourselves influence how we behave, decisions we make, and how we see others and ourselves. What if thoughts we have, make a reality we don’t like?
Ask yourself these questions and quickly note the answers:
What do you think to yourself when you feel panicked, anxious, nervous or stressed?
What do you say to yourself when you are running short on time, feeling busy, or overwhelmed?
What story do you tell yourself about your self-worth because of the situation or the circumstances that you’re currently living?
What is your story and how are you stuck in it?
What fear are you feeling because of the story you’re telling yourself?
Does this feeling allow you to remain paralyzed, powerless to change your situation?
Do you say to yourself that you are not providing as well as you could as a wife, as a mom, as a father, as a husband, as an employee, or as an employer?
Do you like your answers to these questions?
Much of the research shows that how we think to ourselves can either push us forward through challenges or hold us back. Dr. Henry Cloud, author of “Boundaries” and “Necessary Endings” as well as Dr. Siegel, author of “Mindfulness” have written well known and accepted truths about how changing the way you think is the most effective way to make changes in your life. Especially the hard ones, like quitting smoking, changing a relationship habit, or even living healthier. The valuable seconds of self-talk influence you and the environment around you. Most of the time, these thoughts are ignored, decisions are made, and life moves on, while frustrations continue to occur. What can help bring about a life that feels more fulfilled is deliberate intention. Being conscientious about your self-talk, if you wish to influence your beliefs about yourself and others, will change your life. 
Negative automatic thoughts are powerful and necessary indicators that something is not the way it needs to be. If change is necessary, acknowledgement is the first step. Denial will only allow an issue to fester. Thoughts happen in a split second, come and go, so it takes a conscious effort to begin changing your self-talk.Automatic thoughts are powerful influences. The brain and body respond to these tapes constantly throughout the day. In turn, the environment you create both within you and the outside world you live in, impacts how satisfied you feel. To be conscientious about how you treat yourself internally, privately is to intentionally change automatic thoughts that are driving life choices. Paying attention to how and what you think…it’s about admitting that change is needed. It is not about denying painful or negative feelings.
Automatic thoughts cannot be consciously changed until recovery work begins. Change is a journey. It takes time to alter any automatic thoughts. It is a conscious and deliberate change that occurs over time, with help, through recovery work. The automatic thoughts are based on life long experiences about your self-worth. “If I don’t do this, we’re not going make it!” “If we don’t have or I don’t do x, y, and z….then I will keep feeling shame, self-loathing, etc.” These types of thoughts can be eliminated and replaced with self affirming, truthful tapes that help you to create a more affirming life for yourself. A life of love.
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