They go to work. Take care of their families. Answer texts. Make jokes. Show up for everyone else.
And underneath all of that, they may be carrying an incredible amount of pain.
September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, an opportunity to talk openly about suicide,
recognize the warning signs, and remind people that asking for help does not have to wait until
things reach a crisis point.
What Are the Warning Signs of Suicide?
Suicidal thoughts don’t always look the way we expect. Often, what matters most is
noticing changes, especially following a loss, trauma, the end of a relationship, or another major
stressor.
Warning signs may include:
– Talking about wanting to die or not wanting to be here
-Feeling hopeless, trapped, or like a burden
– Withdrawing from friends, family, or activities
– Giving away meaningful belongings or unexpectedly saying goodbye
– Significant changes in sleep, mood, or behavior
– Increased alcohol or substance use
– Increased anger, agitation, anxiety, or recklessness
-Talking about, researching, or making plans for suicide
Sometimes the signs are quieter.
It may be the friend who slowly stops answering. The veteran who doesn’t want to “burden” their
family. The parent who believes everyone would be better off without them. The person
experiencing divorce, betrayal, grief, trauma, or overwhelming stress who begins to believe their pain
will never end.
Not everyone experiencing these things is suicidal—but significant changes deserve curiosity,
compassion, and connection.
“What If I Ask and Put the Idea in Their Head?”
This is a common fear, but asking someone directly about suicide does not increase suicidal
thoughts or behavior.
You don’t need perfect words.
Try: “I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed like yourself lately, and I’m worried about you. Have you
been thinking about suicide?”
If they say yes, listen without judgment and take them seriously. If you believe they are in immediate
danger, stay with them and connect them with emergency or crisis support.
Remember:
Ask. Be there. Help keep them safe. Help them connect. Follow up.
Sometimes the most meaningful thing you can communicate is simply:
“I can handle hearing the truth. You don’t have to hide this from me.”
You Don’t Have to Wait Until It Becomes a Crisis
Therapy isn’t only for the moment when someone feels they cannot keep going.
Support can begin much earlier.
Maybe you’re withdrawing from people you love. Anxiety or depression has become harder to
manage. You’re carrying trauma you’ve spent years trying not to think about. Your marriage is
ending. You’ve experienced betrayal or loss. Or maybe you’re simply the person everyone relies
on—and you’ve become very good at appearing okay.
This can be especially true for military members, combat veterans, law enforcement officers,
detectives, investigators, first responders, and professionals repeatedly exposed to
trauma. When being calm, capable, and strong is part of your job, it can become difficult to
recognize when those experiences have started following you home.
You don’t have to determine whether your pain is “bad enough” before asking for support.
Continue the Conversation
If you’ve ever had the feeling that someone you love isn’t really “fine,” but you weren’t sure what to
say next, consider listening to The Survivors Podcast episode, “The Conversation After ‘I’m
Fine’ — How to Help Someone in Crisis.”
https://thesurvivorspodcast.podbean.com/e/when-im-fine-isnt-how-to-see-the-signs-and-save-a-life/
The episode explores how to recognize subtle signs that someone may be struggling, ask direct
questions about suicide, listen without judgment or immediately trying to fix the problem, and
continue showing up after that first difficult conversation.
It’s a powerful reminder that you don’t need to be a therapist or have the perfect words to
check on someone you love. Sometimes you just need to be willing to ask another
question—and stay long enough to hear the answer.
If You’re the Person Struggling
You don’t need to have the right words.
You don’t need to know exactly what’s wrong.
You can start with:
“I’m not doing very well right now.”
That’s enough to begin a conversation.
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or emotional distress, call or text
988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If there is an immediate life-threatening emergency,
call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department.
At Healing Hearts of Indy, we believe you shouldn’t have to wait until you’re in crisis to ask for
help. Whether you’re carrying trauma, experiencing anxiety or depression, struggling through
relationship loss, or simply realizing you haven’t felt like yourself lately, reaching out can be the first
step toward feeling less alone.
Sometimes the question isn’t:
“Are things bad enough to ask for help?”
It’s:
“What might change if I didn’t have to carry this by myself anymore?”
Sources & Additional Resources
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH): Warning Signs of Suicide and 5 Action
Steps for Helping Someone in Emotional Pain
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Crisis support and suicide-prevention resources
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): Suicide
Prevention Month resources
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP): Suicide-prevention education
and resources
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