Are you constantly scanning the environment trying to figure out what your partner is feeling? Do you and your partner seem to be “reading” each other all the time? If so, do...
Broken Radar
read more
Category: Marriage
Angry Men . . . Passive Women
Imagine a guy driving his speedboat down the river. It’s a gorgeous day, the water is smooth like glass, and he’s zooming along having a great boat ride. He thinks it’s the...
Angry Women . . . Passive Men
She practically levitated off my couch. The anger this woman had been storing for years was spilling out of her and all her husband could do was sink deeper into the sofa. By...
Pin The Tail On The Donkey
Are you sick of not getting your needs met? Do you feel like you have been screaming at the top of your lungs, but your partner claims to have no idea what you want from them? ...
Stuffing & Suffering
Are you a Stuffer? When something bad or unpleasant happens, do you dismiss it, minimize it, or just quit talking about it? Maybe you try to talk about it, but, when met with...
A Snake in the Grass
The Snake Story One day there was a man driving through the desert. A snake on the side of the road flags down the man as he is driving. The man pulls over and the snake says,...
Mirror, Mirror
When you look in the mirror, what do you see? A good person who is kind, generous, and loving? Do you see a good parent, spouse, son or daughter, employee, friend? That’s what...
A Quick Glance in the Mirror – Codependency
I recently had someone comment that discussing codependency feels like "man bashing." That some of the writing and talking I do about being independent and having power in a...
Porn Ponderings
She thinks it's cheating, he thinks it's no big deal. Neither are right. The truth lies somewhere in the middle. Honestly speaking, porn use creates a lot of clients for...
Tears of Joy
Marriage counseling can be successful, but therapy work is full of pain, sadness, and tears. Couples come in full of anger and resentment towards each other. They yell, they...
Trick or Treat
When you look into a child's eyes when they are all dressed up in their Halloween costumes, all you see is joy, fun, excitement. Dressing up and pretending to be someone they are...
Reflection Reflections
She catches her reflection in the window. "How appropriate," she thinks, "I'm barely visible." "Where did I go? I used to have ideas, thoughts, beliefs, opinions, interests of...
What’s Under YOUR Hood?
People don’t get it. They come to couples counseling presumably to fix their relationship, but what they often are really after is an overhaul on their partner! Let’s face it....
Codependency – The Vicious Triangle
The Last Characteristic We have finally come to the last characteristic of codependency, being passive in a relationship. Often feelings of being wronged or used; also called...
Codependent – Other Centered
Learning You Are Codependent Very few people come in to my office, hear that they are codependent, jump up and say, "Wow you are right. Thanks so much my problems are solved!" It...
Codependency – The Dig of Dependency
Characteristic # 2: Dependent and Needy Now it's time to look at the next characteristic of codependency; being dependent and needy. Codependents tend to cling onto relationships...
“I just can’t talk to you!!” (and other forms of Emotional Cut-Off)
I Just Can't Talk To You "I just can't talk to you!!", she screamed, and then she stalked out of the room and slammed the door. This is emotional cut-off. He knew that the rest...
Expectations Part Deux
So we already looked at how many implications the word "expectations" has on relationships. We have looked into how important it is that our partners know what our expectations...
Expectations: Why Can’t He Read My Mind?!?
Implications Expectations... Seems like such a simple word, but the implications of expectations are huge. I hear about expectations practically everyday. "She didn't meet my...
The Fantasy of Marriage
The Fantasy "A knight in shining armor is going to come and take me away from my family that doesn't care for me." "My wife will listen to me and meet my needs the way my family...
Categories
Abandonment
Addiction
Affairs
Anger
Anxiety
Codependent
Communication
Counterdependent
Depression
Differentiation
Divorce
Family Counseling
Grief
Individual Therapy
Intimacy
Marital Therapy
Marriage
Parenting
PTSD
Relationships
Self Abandonment
Self-Help
Separation
Shame
Uncategorized
Vulnerability
Our Blog