Let’s be real. Nobody really wants to have to go to counseling anyway. There are plenty more fun and interesting things tugging at our To Do Lists . . .but if you have to go, how do you get in and get out as fast as possible?
The simple answer is . . . you become a serious student of recovery. The people who come to counseling and figure out pretty quickly that they have some work to do and they get right on it, well, those are the ones who progress the fastest. They may be reading books, or blogs, or watching videos in between sessions. They may go to group counseling, AA meetings, Celebrate Recovery, or other groups to keep their recovery moving forward during the week. When they come to their counseling appointments, they are on time and come prepared with questions about what they’ve experienced that week and want to know why things happened and how they could have handled them better.
People serious about recovery are looking in the mirror more than they are looking at their partner. They will write letters to people who have hurt them (not give them to the person, necessarily), have hard conversations with people in their lives (or even themselves), and/or begin to set boundaries even though it is going to ruffle some feathers. They brave their way through the difficult tasks they must do in order to get healthier. In short, they are determined to learn all that they can and fix what needs fixing!
Now please keep in mind that most people don’t just pop up one morning and begin doing everything I just mentioned in the previous paragraph. Most people start slowly and gain momentum. Once they get some traction, there’s no stopping them. In fact, there’s really no turning back. They don’t want to turn back because they’ve seen how much better their lives can be.
Changing life-long habits is tough – it takes time and effort. There are ways to speed up the process, however, and the first place to look if it isn’t moving fast enough for you is in the mirror. Ask yourself how many blogs, chapters, articles, etc. have you read this week? Did you order the book your counselor recommended? Did you watch any recovery videos this week? Did you attend any group meetings designed to help you learn and grow?
If your counselor gave you homework, did you do it? Did you remain silent instead of sharing your feelings with your partner?
Trust me. I’ve seen it time and time again (and done it myself!). When people come in and they are in excruciating pain, they are burning through the books, doing homework, watching videos and reading blogs like crazy. They join a group. But as soon as their pain subsides a little bit, suddenly they are putting less effort into their recovery – and it shows in their progress.
If you want the fastest results possible from counseling, you’re going to have to push yourself. A bit of good solid effort now will have tremendous pay off later! I promise the results will be worth it!!
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