If you could go back in time, say 10, 20, or 30 years, what would you say to yourself? You’ve lived through some rough stuff since then. You’ve gained wisdom from life experience that cannot be learned any better way than through living it. You know things now that you couldn’t have known back then. Given all of that, what would you say to that ‘younger’ self?
If I could sit my 20 year old self down – Wow, I would have a LOT to say! “Trust your gut,” is the first thing I would say. I would tell myself to turn the volume down on the negatives that people freely impart upon me and turn UP the volume on the praise. I would tell myself that I am worth far more than I think I am and that if I would just trust that myself, I will be okay. That is some powerful stuff, but still I wonder – would I have heard it? Sadly, I kind of doubt it!
When I ask my clients this question, they often have a kind of sad, knowing look on their faces. They know, or rather I should say, they knew. They knew at the time that they were not going in the direction that was best for them, but somehow they were compelled to stay on that path. They also know that they, like me, probably wouldn’t have listened anyway. If you really think about it, however, it’s a good conversation to have with ones’ self. To look back and think, ‘If I had only known then what I know now, what would I have done differently?’ It is an important conversation to have because if we don’t know where we went wrong in our past, how do we keep ourselves from going down that path again?
Now look back a bit further, what would you say to your 10 year old self? The innocent, playful one who looks a little like your son, your daughter, your niece or nephew? Now we have a lot more that comes to mind. The words are more powerful now. “You are not stupid.” “Your needs/wants/ideas/opinions are normal.” “You are lovable – just the way you are.” “You matter.” “There is nothing wrong with you.” “It is okay to make mistakes.”
While I sit here wondering how my life would be different if I could have gotten through to my younger self, I can’t help but look at the real question staring me in the face. . . What would I say to myself 10 years from now? My mistakes in judgment at 20 were somewhat excusable, if not expected. At 30, they were half-way understandable. Now I’m getting to an age where knowingly walking myself into areas that I know will harm me is almost unconscionable. Wow, that’s profound and a little bit scary.
Check yourself. What are you doing that you know is not good for you? What paths are you walking down that don’t lead you where you want to go? What distractions are you allowing in your life that are holding you back? If you could look back at yourself 10 years from now, what advice would you have for yourself? Look hard. Only you know the answers . . . and only you can follow them!
Our Blog