The Instagram Version of Self-Care
Scroll through social media and you’ll see self-care packaged as bubble baths, face masks, and
expensive candles. While there’s nothing wrong with these things, they’ve become the go-to
image of what it means to take care of yourself. But if you’re still exhausted, overwhelmed, and
emotionally depleted after your lavender-scented bath, something’s missing.
Self-care has become performative when it focuses more on what it looks like than what it
actually does for you.
What Performative Self-Care Looks Like
You might be engaging in performative self-care if:
- You’re doing activities that look relaxing but don’t actually help you feel better
-You’re spending money on “self-care” products while ignoring deeper needs
-You feel guilty for not doing enough self-care rituals
Your self-care routine feels like another task on your to-do list Real self-care isn’t always pretty, postable, or comfortable. Sometimes it’s having the hard conversation. Sometimes it’s saying no. Sometimes it’s going to bed at 8pm instead of pushing
through.
What Self-Care Actually Is
Self-care is anything that genuinely helps you regulate your nervous system, protect your energy,
and meet your actual needs.
That might include:
-Setting boundaries – Telling your family you can’t host this year, even though it
disappoints them
-Addressing problems – Making that doctor’s appointment you’ve been avoiding for
months
-Saying no – Declining invitations when you’re genuinely too tired, not just being polite
-Rest without productivity – Doing nothing without needing to justify or earn it
-Processing emotions – Crying, journaling, or talking to someone instead of numbing out
These actions don’t always feel good in the moment, but they create actual relief and space in
your life.
When Self-Care Becomes Just Another Expectation
Sometimes the pressure to practice self-care becomes its own source of stress. You might find
yourself forcing activities that are supposed to be relaxing, or feeling inadequate because you’re
not doing “enough” to take care of yourself.
If your self-care routine is leaving you feeling more overwhelmed than restored, it might be time
to simplify. Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming. Sometimes the most
restorative thing you can do is give yourself permission to do less.
Self-care isn’t about what looks good or what other people are doing. It’s about what actually
helps you show up for your life without burning out. Sometimes that’s a quiet evening alone.
Sometimes it’s a difficult boundary. It can even sometimes it’s admit you need support.
You deserve care that actually works, not just care that looks like it should.
Learn morehttps://healingheartsofindy.com/what-kind-of-self-care-are-you-getting/
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