She practically levitated off my couch. The anger this woman had been storing for years was spilling out of her and all her husband could do was sink deeper into the sofa. By...
Angry Women . . . Passive Men
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Blogs By: Kathy
Who Do You Give Your Power To?
The Story “Not today, Sister!” These 3 words taught me a huge lesson once that will stick with me for life. I had worked for months planning an employee event at my job and I...
Pin The Tail On The Donkey
Are you sick of not getting your needs met? Do you feel like you have been screaming at the top of your lungs, but your partner claims to have no idea what you want from them? ...
Stuffing & Suffering
Are you a Stuffer? When something bad or unpleasant happens, do you dismiss it, minimize it, or just quit talking about it? Maybe you try to talk about it, but, when met with...
Sitting In Your Stuff
”I feel like a crappy husband and father.” This was the response I got from a client recently when I asked him how he felt after seeing the movie, Courageous. I was intrigued...
Mirror, Mirror
When you look in the mirror, what do you see? A good person who is kind, generous, and loving? Do you see a good parent, spouse, son or daughter, employee, friend? That’s what...
Porn Ponderings
She thinks it's cheating, he thinks it's no big deal. Neither are right. The truth lies somewhere in the middle. Honestly speaking, porn use creates a lot of clients for...
Reflection Reflections
She catches her reflection in the window. "How appropriate," she thinks, "I'm barely visible." "Where did I go? I used to have ideas, thoughts, beliefs, opinions, interests of...
What’s Under YOUR Hood?
People don’t get it. They come to couples counseling presumably to fix their relationship, but what they often are really after is an overhaul on their partner! Let’s face it....
Is Your Abandonment Bigger Than You Are?
What Does Abandonment Look Like? Is your abandonment bigger than you are? Does it haunt you in the middle of the night? Maybe cause you to dig through your spouse's phone...
“I just can’t talk to you!!” (and other forms of Emotional Cut-Off)
I Just Can't Talk To You "I just can't talk to you!!", she screamed, and then she stalked out of the room and slammed the door. This is emotional cut-off. He knew that the rest...
Perfection Prison
I am a prisoner of perfection. My cell is fear - fear of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, writing the wrong words, having the wrong opinion. What is it that makes a...
Teachability
It's Hard To Hear The Truth It is hard to hear the truth. Period. No one wants to hear: “You are critical.” “He's hard to talk to.”, “You’re manipulative like your mother!”...
All Alone . . .
Learning how to be alone is an art. It takes patience, tons of patience in fact, but it is so vitally important for good mental health and healthy relationships. If we can’t...
To Be Judged
Far too many of us live our lives in fear of judgment - from friends, family, God, even perfect strangers! Why is it that everyone else's opinion of us is so important? In...
Parents: The Spot On the Wall
During parents orientation for college recently, a faculty member was suggesting that we discuss with our students how we feel about them leaving. He wisely knew that most of us...
Self-Care: Mom’s Battery Charger
Mothers walk into my counseling office wearing tired smiles. Their posture is slumped. Their eyes are heavy. And eventually, in a hushed and almost guilty tone, they admit: “I...
Codependency – Be True To Who You Are
On a recent family vacation, I witnessed a powerful lesson about codependency and self-trust—and it came from my teenage son. We were fishing for lake trout when he reeled in the...
After a Fight, An Olive Branch Eases the Pain
Arguments are a normal part of every relationship. But knowing how to reconnect after a fight can feel much harder than the conflict itself. After a heated argument, many couples...
Fighting in Marriage – The Power of Positive Connection
Strengthening Your Marriage: The Power of Positive Connection in Carmel, Indiana Marriage counselors often see couples in intense conflict. Arguments seem to escalate quickly. It...
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