Far too many of us live our lives in fear of judgment – from friends, family, God, even perfect strangers! Why is it that everyone else’s opinion of us is so important, in fact, often even more important to us than our own opinion of ourselves!
The truth is, we ARE judged! We are judged by most everyone we come into contact with, sometimes even by people who merely catch a glimpse of us as we are walking by. It is a tragedy that there is so much judgment in the world, but what is even worse, is that we have become a slave to it! When we give up who we are, what we want, keep our opinions quiet, fail to set boundaries and/or stuff our anger about injustices in an effort to please everyone around us, it is largely due to fear of judgment. It is imperative in trying to have good mental health, that we are able to face that judgment and remain true to ourselves in the process! In order to do so, however, we have to be able to understand that people’s judgment is rooted in their own stuff. Think about that for a minute. If each person we come in contact with has a different set of fears, insecurities, beliefs, values, early childhood trauma, etc. and we multiply that by the thousands of people we come into contact with during the course of our lives, it’s completely impossible to not trigger something in somebody at some point! It is when we try too hard to conform to these vast set of perceived demands that we lose who we are. Then we become depressed, anxious, overwhelmed, and unhappy with life.
So, sing at the top of your lungs, dance even if you don’t know how, laugh at what you think is funny, share the idea that you think no one will like, write a blog, and speak your mind – even if your voice shakes. Remember that harsh critical judgment is born out of people’s own emotional immaturity that really has nothing to do with you. When you can learn to be true to yourself in the face of that judgment, you will finally experience how it feels to be free!!