Have you been looking for happily ever after? Let’s face it. Deep down, that’s what we all want – for the struggle to end, the ease to begin. We want the comfort of having our needs met the instant we have them and to overflow with peace and joy at all times. Wouldn’t that be great?
Wishing for happily ever after doesn’t mean we are greedy or selfish or sinful. It means we are human. It is human nature to want comfort in our struggles or better yet, to want no struggles at all. The problem is, that finding peace and comfort like I described in the paragraph above can come, but it will not arrive in the same way we expect and it will not look like what we imagined. So how do we get it and what does it look like?
To achieve happily ever after, we have to make a major fundamental shift in our brains. We have to change our thinking from looking externally to get our happiness to looking for that peace and comfort internally. Put very simply, we have to get our hands off the throats of the people around us. It is not their job to make us happy. It is ours. Now before you stop reading and throw this into the “new-age bullcrap” category, let me explain.
I do not mean that you have to be alone or that you won’t experience love from others. It only means that you take responsibility for it. For example, if you are trying to get someone to stop doing something that is hurting you and they won’t. Quit pounding on them to stop and get away from them, at least temporarily. Honestly, a lot of our frustration and angst in this world comes from our unwillingness to make this shift. We keep hounding and pounding to get them to change, when in reality we are failing to look at ourselves and see that all we have to do is step away. Yes, it sucks. No, it is not our 1st choice. No, that’s not the way we want it, but if you want happily ever after, you are going to have to stop outsourcing the job to other people and do the job yourself!
When we take responsibility for our own happiness, we are no longer at the mercy of others. We are not potential victims to anyone who steps in our paths. We are in charge of our own lives. We learn to quit howling at those around us to love us and learn how to love ourselves. It is kind of like Chinese handcuffs, we keep pulling and pulling and pulling to get out when the most unnatural of moves is what finally frees us –pushing towards the very thing we are trying to get away from.
The path to happiness may not look like you imagined. You may have to make new friends, or let your kids be mad at you for awhile. You may have to move or separate from your spouse or take a break from a relationship. You may need to make new friends or learn how to go to movies and dinner by yourself, but ultimately, when you finally take full responsibility for your happiness you will find that peace.
If this article resonates with you at all, I beg you to give it some serious thought. It truly can change your life and get you as close to happily ever after as one can get on this planet. I realize the painful shift in thinking it will take to make this happen. Being responsible for our own happiness is not a glamorous job, but trust me, it is the more peaceful path!