We all have lost someone in our lives. Some closer to us than others. No matter if it was foreseen or unexpected, the impact a death has on us makes us pivot a bit in life. Everyone deals with the loss of a loved one in their own way, with no right or wrong path. Grief goes in waves. You can feel fine and then all sudden you can feel that your world is falling apart. Sometimes grief feels so heavy, you cannot imagine how you can take on the next day and we need grief assistance.
Let me be the first to tell you, whatever you are feeling, feel it. It is normal. If you are angry, feel it. If you are afraid, feel it. If you are sad, feel it. Each emotion we have has a purpose and if we stop long enough to evaluate it, we can discover something hidden within us. Sometimes we can uncover that hidden emotion out on our own, but sometimes we need help by having a listening ear.
Steps in grieving do not look the same from person to person. Your grieving process may even be different from loss to loss. However, there are some key points for grief assistance . . .
- Talking about the grief we are feeling helps to move us forward in the grieving process. Not talking about our grief can ultimately set us back.
- Do not attempt to get back to Normal. Your life has been altered and that is alright to not be in the same place as you were before. Instead try to find a new Normal for yourself.
- It is important to be aware of the difference between depression and grief. Depression is all consuming and it is difficult to even have a moment where we “step out” from the depression. On the other hand, with grief you can “step into” pleasure at times, even if it is for a slip second.
- Understand that there is no timeline for grief. Your emotions may not affect you until months down the road. That is okay.
- Find someone for grief assistance who can be a support for you during this difficult time. May it be a support group, a dear friend, or a church group. Talking about what you are going through is the step in the right direction.
We can find that we feel stuck in grief due to not mourning enough. Let yourself feel your emotions and lean into the grief. By doing so you will remember and cherish your loved ones path.