Still wondering why you can’t get change to occur in your life? Maybe you’re not disgusted with yourself enough yet! Change will only occur when where you are at is more painful than getting where you need or want to go. It is not until you get truly and thoroughly disgusted with yourself that you will push yourself through the discomfort of change and begin to the reap the benefits.
Are you disgusted enough yet with your undesirable behavior? Jealousy? Obesity? Anorexia? Overspending? Pursuing sexual gratification outside of your relationship? Sexual promiscuity? Smoking habit? Staying submissive in an abusive relationship? Codependence? Arrogance? Shaming yourself? Inappropriate anger? Controlling? Selfishness? Incessant complaining? Judgment of others? Laziness? Depression? Perfection standards for yourself and others? Lying to make yourself look better than you are? Self-pity?
Don’t see yourself yet? Take another look.
When we fully see ourselves, all of the good things about us, all of the mediocre things, and even the things in the dark recesses of our psyche that most of us refuse to really look at, you can begin to make changes. If you are doing a thorough scan of yourself, you will not always like what you see! In the past I would have refused to look, “No! I can’t believe that about myself!” Why? Because to look at it would be to admit it was true. Check this . . . because I didn’t want it to be true, I rejected the idea that I might have an undesirable characteristic or behavior – period. Wow! How closed-minded is that? Once I was willing to explore the possibility that there might be something less-than-desirable about me, I could look at the behavior and, if I was truly disgusted by it, then I could change it. It is only through this process that you can become the best person you can be or the person you were meant to be!
We have to be able to accept ourselves as a whole, just as we are, faults and defects included. What most of us do, however, is accept the good parts of us and try really, really hard not to look at the bad parts, the ugly parts, the parts we don’t want to be true. To bring our own disgusting behaviors out into the light without that acceptance would equal death to most. But to truly accept ourselves, we must bring everything out into the light. That’s quite a conundrum!
What I am talking about is CONNECTING the parts of you that you love with the parts of you that disgust yourself. Both do exist, you know. It is who you currently are, regardless of how deep you stick your head in the sand and try to deny it. If you are squirming in your seat right now, perhaps I am hitting on something. Good! You need to be uncomfortable if you are going to change. It is okay to admit that you are broken and imperfect, but it is naïve to believe that you can get where you want to be while ignoring the truth.
“You cannot solve a problem with the same thinking that created it.” ~ Albert Einstein