How To Have An Awesome Marriage
By: Kathy
February 19, 2012

People search the world over to find out how to have an awesome marriage, but do you know why they have such a hard time finding it?  It is because they want what is easy, not the truth!  The truth is, if you want an awesome marriage, you’re going to have to grow and change – a lot!

I don’t mean that you change who you are. I mean that you are willing to learn and make improvements on yourself.  Seriously, while you may be a great person in a lot of ways, you’re no picnic to live with!  Most of us naively waltzed down the aisle thinking marriage was going to be easy.  That’s because the relationship was easy in the beginning.  When it gets hard, we look for our partner to change, but we fail to see how we need to change and grow ourselves.

Marriage pairs us up with someone who is close enough to see ALL the qualities about us – good and bad.  Our partner is there to help us, not hurt us, by gently showing us the things that we can’t see.  This gives us a wonderful opportunity to hone our good qualities and work on our not-so-wonderful ones!

How do you rate in the following areas?

Humility – Can you set aside your pride long enough to hear that you could use some improvement? Can you see that the very thing you gripe at your partner about is something that you do yourself?  Can you apologize, genuinely, when you make a mistake or hurt your partner?

Strength – Are you strong enough to ride out the waves of disconnection and closeness in your relationship?  Are you strong enough to grow?  Are you strong enough to be okay if the relationship doesn’t work out?

Honesty – Are you honest enough to tell the truth to your partner about how you feel and how you experience them?  Are you honest enough to admit to your own faults and failures?

Grace – Are you able to forgive your partner for hurts – real or perceived?  Are you able to forgive yourself for your own mistakes and failures?  Can you see and be compassionate to the tender, wounded person that lives inside of your partner?

Flexibility – Are you flexible enough to bend and stretch as you, your partner, and your life change?  Can you allow things to not always go your way?

Attentiveness – Can you invest time in your relationship?  Can you set yourself aside long enough to attend to your partner’s needs?  Can you prioritize your partner’s needs at least on par with your own?

Love – Can you love your partner enough to be happy for them if they are getting their needs met, even if that means your needs are not?  Can you recognize that love is not a noun, it is a verb and therefore it requires action?

An awesome relationship is possible, but only if both people can learn about themselves and grow in these important areas over the course of a lifetime.  It may not be the answer that you want to hear, but it is the truth.  You can’t have a fantastic relationship without growth.  It just doesn’t happen.  Growing and changing is required much like water and food is required for a sapling to grow into a majestic redwood.  Are you strong enough to grow?