Becoming a parent may not be hard for most. But those who struggle with infertility know the heartache that comes with being unable to become a parent the way “everybody else does.” Infertility can be a long, painful journey. Firstly, the ignorance of not knowing can be more comforting than realizing that there might be medical issues. Secondly, seeking medical advice can be intimidating. Being diagnosed with infertility can feel like a death sentence. No one willingly becomes part of a club that includes uncomfortable and invasive testing, untraditional methods of conception, and possibly not being able have children.
The moment of diagnosis is probably one of the more shocking moments. Most of us assume we are physically healthy until something doesn’t work right. And like most people, we don’t seek medical attention until we are reacting to something. The decision to seek medical advice can be burdensome and it’s easy to minimize our own concerns. The shock of founding out that there is a medical issue hits like a ton of bricks. Nowadays it’s normal to wait until a career is established, or to get married later in life. For those who feel like they did everything according to a plan and didn’t wait can still be shocked to find that they need some type of assistance to become pregnant. Deciding how to proceed with medical solutions can feel unnatural for both men and women. Alternative solutions to having children can be daunting. How does a person decide what nature normally takes care of? This decision making process can create strain and stress in relationships. What is okay and what is not is unique to each person wishing to become a parent.
Challenges with fertility don’t stop at just the decision making process. The process itself can be invasive and costly. Moving through the infertility treatments or any other process can feel isolating. Who do you talk about these processes? Where do you go for advice? Finding ways to cope with the emotional and physical roller coaster can be a challenge, because infertility is not openly talked about. Being able to reach out to others who can relate and share similar life experiences is part of the healing process. Getting the right kind of support is important. It’s up to you to seek the help that makes sense to you. Infertility can be isolating, but if you feel you need answers then take the steps to at least find out what is in your way. Get familiar with your own hang ups around finding out more. Talk to others.
Don’t give up on your desire to become a parent. Moving through life challenges is part of growing. Don’t let fertility issues stand in your way of getting medical attention, asking for advice, or doing the research. Millions of women struggle with infertility in the U.S. It is not abnormal and infertility does not mean there is something morally wrong or that you don’t deserve to create the family you desire. Push forward so you don’t give up on your dream. There are many agencies who are helping families with fertility treatments. Join a support group so you can share your story and stop the isolation. There is a way towards your dream. Whatever your journey looks like…You can do this!