Sex Addiction and the Godfather: Part I
By: Javan
June 10, 2012



The movie, “The Godfather” is chalk full of family systems theory. What issue did the Godfather NOT suffer from! He seriously was void of a father figure that was accepting, caring, supportive, and nurturing. His mother was unavailable, too passive and too co-dependent to address the  her husband’s corruption and enormous ego. The Godfather’s  parents did not model a secure and loving marriage. Marriage was not about being real, intimate connections, and belonging. The Godfather’s father, the Don, was all about what soothed his lost little boy pain. He chose to gain vengeance against the man who killed his mother and brother. With so much loss, the head of the family was addicted to their lost little boys on the inside….addicts to greed, power, women, money, anything that could feed the moment. With the loss of a brother, mother, and loss of love and affection, and security, each man learned to feed their vengeance in the moment so they wouldn’t have to be real, and feel who they were becoming. The first Don became and identified with the event that changed his life forever; the death of his mother. This family has severe abandonment! Sexual addictions, affairs, pain killing, numbing, is what the first Don modeled for his son, the Godfather. He learned from his father, and he played out what he learned because that’s who he was naturally, even though in his youth he had every intention to be nothing like his father. There was other more powerful model than what he was taught by his family, by his brothers, and by his father. What he knew or wished for himself wasn’t strong or powerful enough for the challenging moments….This is why being in an intimate relationship with others parallels a painful childhood.

A client of mine recently began to unravel his sexual addiction to pornography. He could relate to the cycle of self-sabotage, shame, guilt, and self-abandonment that has continued in his life. He feels helpless to change as he watches his wife suffer from emotional disconnect. The Don and the Godfather continued to believe that their lives had no other way to continue other than with a heart for vengeance based in anger and resentment. If the Godfather and the Don had come to marriage counseling, their lives could have been less painful! Please continue reading next week for the best Indianapolis Marriage counseling the Godfather could have received at Family Tree Counseling!