Looking for a checklist on how to show your son you love him? Not here! Maybe a script with the perfect words of how to convince your daughter you love her? There isn’t one. The very BEST way to show your kids you love them? Love them enough to let them hate you. That’s right! Love them enough to let them be unhappy, uncomfortable, or downright hate your guts. Sounds crazy, I know, but for parents who really want the best for their kids, they have to be willing to make unpopular decisions and to weather the storms that arise from it.
Many parents think they are loving their kids by giving them plenty of freedom and not making any waves with them. Know this: If your child gets gratification all the time from getting what they want, this does not mean you have been an excellent parent! As a parent, our job is to love our kids enough to know more than they do. Look ahead a few years. Your kid is now in college and the staff and their friends aren’t catering to their every whim like you did. You basically spent 18 years setting them up to be let down for the rest of their life because this world is not going to treat them the way that you did!
When we can’t say “No.” to our kids, that is about US, not about them. Why can’t you say no? What will happen? Are you afraid they won’t love you anymore? Are you afraid of the conflict? The temper tantrum? The silent treatment? These fears may be real, but they are all about YOU, not your child. Do you love your kid enough to set aside your own fears long enough to do the right thing?