Unfulfilled Dreams
By: Javan
December 5, 2013

If a bee doubted how it could rest on a single flower petal, we wouldn’t have honey. Yet, the bee does no such thing. The bee does what it is built to do…It makes honey without doubt. The bee doesn’t say, “I wonder if I can do this?” Sometimes life screams at you and you turn away, turn a blind eye, don’t listen, or worse kill it with pain numbing habits like working, tasking-busyness, drinking, spending money, socializing, watching TV, anything to drown out that voice that’s asking for change. What has been haunting you that you haven’t done? What are you yearning for? What is the dream you push out of your mind? Do you feel out of place but continue to stay? Do you want a different job, but stay? What are the excuses you hear inside yourself that keep you stuck?

 The excuses are common, “I just don’t have time for this or I can’t start that now.” Excuses are doubts. This is part of the unhealthy loop of thinking. A loop that was designed to keep you where you are…trapped or stuck. You can’t see the forest for the trees. So, the first step isn’t just “Hey, stop thinking like that!” Clearly, you don’t know how to stop it, because if you could, you would, right?

How you came to feel stuck or trapped and how you came to discourage yourself is part of a life long learning process. For example, if you might have grown up feeling you were incompetent or unable to feel confidence in your decisions. You might still be experiencing the same discouraging process years later. This is the process that introduces doubt. There have been times in my life that I was afraid to move, afraid to make the change, and I had lots of excuses and doubts. The biggest one was not knowing what I would do afterwards.

Eventually, the universe started to make things uncomfortable, too difficult for me to remain where I was, so I had to begin the process of accepting what I knew to be true. Instead of pushing the thoughts away, I embraced the fear and started to dance with all the insecurities that come with taking a leap of faith. It was scary at first, but slowly, I could see the difference between what was a “perceived” fear and what mattered for real. I felt encouraged over time to continue forward. Even when I couldn’t see the full journey ahead. At least I knew where I had been and that wasn’t enough. So going back was not an option. It was full steam ahead for all the right reasons and good bye to the past.

Being able to discern who you are is a huge gift. A lot of who we are developed over our life experiences, so our fears are based in old thinking. Life continues to bring challenges to all of us. Knowing myself from my past and knowing what I needed contributed to my ability to move forward. To not ignore the voice that said I needed something else took courage against the old thinking. Against all the doubts. Since that time, I had to do a great deal of emotional work on myself. The initial reactions of change in my life were overwhelming. Accepting that this comes with the territory, allowed me to be willing to face change and take a step forward.

Living in a world of fear, emotional dependency, and reactivity robs you of the ability to fulfill your own needs. Even when your insides are screaming at you and the universe is expressing its dislike of how you don’t fit well. When you don’t live for you and fulfill yourself, then you’re not listening to your needs. Live your life as You!