What are the lies you believe? I’m not talking about the lies other people tell you, I’m talking about the lies you tell you! Lies like . . . “I’m worthless.” “I’m not good enough unless I’m perfect.” “No one will love me if I’m fat.” “If I make a mistake, I can never make up for it.” or “I am a mistake.”
I was challenged this week in a study I am working on to write down all of the beliefs I have about the world and the lies I tell myself to support them. Wow! Once I got going, I was amazed at how fast they were flowing! This is stuff that courses through my veins on a daily basis. Silent. Hidden. Deadly. And the more I wrote, the more horrified I became. By the end, I wanted them out of me. Killed! Like I had just found out I had cancer and I wanted it killed aggressively and immediately!
For example. . . Let’s say you had a belief about the world that ‘If someone is upset because of something you did, it is your fault.’ The supporting lies would be something like, “I shouldn’t have said that.” “I should have known that would hurt him.” “I’ve always had a big mouth.” “I should just keep my stupid big mouth shut and the world would be a better place.” Am I making my point?
Honestly, if we want to have an easier ride on this planet, we just cannot do it if this river of sewage is running solidly through our minds on a daily basis! For most of us, however, it is! And worse yet? We don’t even know it! Something happens and that belief (that we are unaware of) gets stirred inside of us. Then our minds start chanting the lies (below our consciousness) and before long, our negative belief is confirmed, and filed away with a wagon load of evidence to confirm it. In essence, if we allow ourselves to believe the lies, they are holding us back!
The first step is awareness. We simply have to become aware of what is going on inside of us. We can’t battle it if we don’t even know we are at war! So what are some of your negative, pessimistic, secret cynical beliefs about the world? And what lies do you tell yourself to support them? Then look at each of those lies. What is a corresponding truth that you do believe??
For example, as a woman, I grew up with the belief that our culture equates beauty with worth. (Belief about the world: “If you are pleasing to the eye, the world will accept you. If you are not, they won’t.”) As a woman, I am ashamed to admit that I have succumbed to the encyclopedia of lies that support this ridiculous belief like, “If I am having a bad hair day, people won’t respect me.” Quite frankly, it honks me off! Really?! My intelligence changes because my hair won’t cooperate today?! But what really scare me is that it didn’t honk me off, until I became aware that I was enslaved by it! Once I realized it, I was determined to defy it! I have to tell you, though, it is a fight I have to have daily. My corresponding truth? The most beautiful women I know are not runway models. They are real women with real hearts, smiles, wit, and grit. I don’t love them because of the way they look, I love them because of who they are!
I have similar beliefs (and the lies that support them) that I battle on a daily basis. I am determined to go to war with each and every one of those buggers! They have held me down too long and I am ready to be free of them. What about you? What negative beliefs do you subscribe to? What lies to do you tell yourself to support them? And what lies do you believe?? Tackle them now. What’s lying underneath is worth the fight!
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