Yesterday a Boy, Today a Man
By: Kathy
January 13, 2010

Memories of the little boy

The other night I dreamt of myself playing with my 2 year old son. He was pudgy and playful and so positively gleeful. His little cheeks were pink from playing so hard. The dream left me with a warm and wonderful feeling in my heart. I was smiling from the inside with the sheer joy it gave me to hold his hands while he lifted his feet in the air and giggled like little boys do. He was exactly where he wanted to be at that moment. So was I.

That boy, now a young man

He’s not 2 anymore; he’s 18 and a senior in high school. He has his own friends, his own job and his own interests. He’s a man; an incredible, wonderful and talented young man and I feel so blessed to call him my son. This is the season in my life where I begin to grieve the loss of the boy and transition into the new phase of motherhood. I must accept that our relationship is different going forward.

Life’s journey

In many ways, this reminds me of God’s role in my life. Like a good father would, He watches me. He doesn’t necessarily tell me what to do, but has provided vague guidelines. I must go out into the world and find the boundaries myself. And when I’ve strayed down a road that isn’t good for me, He is always there for me when I decide to come running back into his waiting arms. He doesn’t chastise me, He doesn’t shame me, He just loves me.

Unconditional Love

Seeing my son at this point in his life, I think I understand how God could love us so unconditionally. I will always love the boy that I carried inside of me, the one I laughed and played with, the one who brought me so much joy singing and playing his guitar. I look at him much like God looks at us. Know he will make mistakes and do things I don’t agree with.  Also knowing his life won’t go exactly like I would map it, but I will love him and accept him no matter what, just because he is my son.

I pray that we all get to experience God’s unconditional love this fully; both on earth and in heaven.