It's holiday season and the daunting task of finding gifts for everyone you love is upon us once again. Trust me. The odds of the perfect gift jumping out at you while roaming...
How To Give The Perfect Gift
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Category: Marriage
How To Get Control Of Your Anger
I’ve often said that anger is not about the other person, and that is true, but what does that mean? How do you get control of out of control anger? Intense anger is really a...
Codependence/Counterdependence & The Evolution of War!
Last week I talked about enmeshment and how it causes fighting. Let me explain how codependence and counterdependence play into it creating a volcanic eruption in many...
Why Enmeshment Causes Fighting
Why does enmeshment cause a couple to fight? Enmeshment is a term we use to describe a relationship that is too close, too “other” centered, and is too dependent on the other...
Fear: The Root Of All Issues
Here's a theory - simple, profound, and probably true: All of our issues stem from fear! Think about it - abandonment is a terrifying fear of being left, being alone, being...
Defensiveness Is A Marriage Killer!
Do you aggressively defend yourself? Do you interrupt your partner when they are speaking with an urgent message about yourself? I’ll tell you one thing I know for sure about...
What Does Maturity Look Like?
I was asked a great question recently. . . How do you know what is “mature”? Clearly, if you are coming to counseling or reading self-help articles and blogs online, something...
Can People Really Change?
Can people really change? I mean lasting changes that you can count on? Or once someone shows you what is in their character, is it just in their character? I believe people...
Why Is Cut-Off Not the Answer?
Why is emotional cut-off not the answer to the painful relationships in your life? It seems like it would be the perfect solution. I mean, if there is someone in your life that...
The Importance of Connection
How important is connection to your relationships? Once a relationship is defined and/or feels secure, do you feel the connection will continue at the same level? And how...
Friends: A Vital Part of A Healthy Life
What would it be like if you took a good hard look and evaluated your group of friends and family? List them. Now ask yourself these questions. . . Which ones would go out of...
The Energy Equation
Do you walk around feeling drained and spent most of the time? Do you have dreams, but don’t ever have time to make them come true? Do you feel like you are just getting...
Is It Worth The Fight?
Is it even worth the fight? To be sure, fighting is painful and it may seem like no good can come from it, but the answer to the question is and emphatic “Yes!” When a fight...
Who Is Responsible For Your Needs?
Who is responsible for meeting your emotional needs? This is an issue that happens very commonly and causes tremendous frustration for both parties in a relationship. I have in...
What Causes Intimacy To Break Down?
We all love the intimacy in the beginning of a relationship – where we are sharing things with our partner that we don’t share with most people. We share our deepest hopes,...
Are You An OverFunctioner?
Are you tired? Overworked? Overwhelmed? Feel like you can’t stop doing everything that you do or things will just fall apart? You are probably overfunctioning - BIG TIME!...
The Lies We Believe
What are the lies you believe? I’m not talking about the lies other people tell you, I’m talking about the lies you tell you! Lies like . . . “I’m worthless.” “I’m not good...
What’s Tripping You Up?
Good grief! Who came up with that term? Anybody who has experienced grief, or been around somebody experiencing some serious grief, for that matter, knows that grief is not...
What Causes Abandonment?
If you have abandonment issues, you know the searing, gut wrenching pain that comes up at the most nonsensical times. You know the ridiculous, desperate things you will do or...
What Cured My Shame
What has cured my shame more than anything? Bringing it out into the open. I remember a time when I was in hiding. My insecurities, my deepest regrets, my biggest failures...
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