‘Truth comes from the mouths of babes.’ Isn’t that old cliché so true? Kids can say the most unadulterated, brutal truth with such ease! And when they say it, we don’t take...
Truth and Grace
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Category: Relationships
What Way Did You Learn To Be Loved?
What way did you learn to be loved? I’m not talking about having coffee brought to you in bed, or being greeted at the door when you get home. Nor am I talking about romantic...
Wherever You Go, There You Are
There was a story of two men in ancient times of walled off cities. One man left his city and went on a trek seeking a better life. He arrived at a new city’s gates and asked...
Intimacy, Eyes, and Dogs
I had an immediate reaction to a study that my husband told me about. He read that ‘if you look a dog in the eye and speak kindly to it, it will behave better.’ My immediate...
The Gift of the Magi
Frantically trying to decide what to give your loved one for Christmas this year? You are not alone. While some people delight in the season of gift giving, far too many people...
Broken Radar
Are you constantly scanning the environment trying to figure out what your partner is feeling? Do you and your partner seem to be “reading” each other all the time? If so, do...
Angry Men . . . Passive Women
Imagine a guy driving his speedboat down the river. It’s a gorgeous day, the water is smooth like glass, and he’s zooming along having a great boat ride. He thinks it’s the...
Angry Women . . . Passive Men
She practically levitated off my couch. The anger this woman had been storing for years was spilling out of her and all her husband could do was sink deeper into the sofa. By...
Pin The Tail On The Donkey
Are you sick of not getting your needs met? Do you feel like you have been screaming at the top of your lungs, but your partner claims to have no idea what you want from them? ...
Stuffing & Suffering
Are you a Stuffer? When something bad or unpleasant happens, do you dismiss it, minimize it, or just quit talking about it? Maybe you try to talk about it, but, when met with...
A Snake in the Grass
The Snake Story One day there was a man driving through the desert. A snake on the side of the road flags down the man as he is driving. The man pulls over and the snake says,...
Sitting In Your Stuff
”I feel like a crappy husband and father.” This was the response I got from a client recently when I asked him how he felt after seeing the movie, Courageous. I was intrigued...
A Quick Glance in the Mirror – Codependency
I recently had someone comment that discussing codependency feels like "man bashing." That some of the writing and talking I do about being independent and having power in a...
Porn Ponderings
She thinks it's cheating, he thinks it's no big deal. Neither are right. The truth lies somewhere in the middle. Honestly speaking, porn use creates a lot of clients for...
Tears of Joy
Marriage counseling can be successful, but therapy work is full of pain, sadness, and tears. Couples come in full of anger and resentment towards each other. They yell, they...
Trick or Treat
When you look into a child's eyes when they are all dressed up in their Halloween costumes, all you see is joy, fun, excitement. Dressing up and pretending to be someone they are...
Reflection Reflections
She catches her reflection in the window. "How appropriate," she thinks, "I'm barely visible." "Where did I go? I used to have ideas, thoughts, beliefs, opinions, interests of...
What’s Under YOUR Hood?
People don’t get it. They come to couples counseling presumably to fix their relationship, but what they often are really after is an overhaul on their partner! Let’s face it....
Codependency – The Vicious Triangle
The Last Characteristic We have finally come to the last characteristic of codependency, being passive in a relationship. Often feelings of being wronged or used; also called...
Codependent – Other Centered
Learning You Are Codependent Very few people come in to my office, hear that they are codependent, jump up and say, "Wow you are right. Thanks so much my problems are solved!" It...
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