People don’t get it. They come to couples counseling presumably to fix their relationship, but what they often are really after is an overhaul on their partner! Let’s face it....
What’s Under YOUR Hood?
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Category: Relationships
Codependency – The Vicious Triangle
The Last Characteristic We have finally come to the last characteristic of codependency, being passive in a relationship. Often feelings of being wronged or used; also called...
Codependent – Other Centered
Learning You Are Codependent Very few people come in to my office, hear that they are codependent, jump up and say, "Wow you are right. Thanks so much my problems are solved!" It...
Codependency – The Dig of Dependency
Characteristic # 2: Dependent and Needy Now it's time to look at the next characteristic of codependency; being dependent and needy. Codependents tend to cling onto relationships...
“I just can’t talk to you!!” (and other forms of Emotional Cut-Off)
I Just Can't Talk To You "I just can't talk to you!!", she screamed, and then she stalked out of the room and slammed the door. This is emotional cut-off. He knew that the rest...
Expectations Part Deux
So we already looked at how many implications the word "expectations" has on relationships. We have looked into how important it is that our partners know what our expectations...
Expectations: Why Can’t He Read My Mind?!?
Implications Expectations... Seems like such a simple word, but the implications of expectations are huge. I hear about expectations practically everyday. "She didn't meet my...
The Fantasy of Marriage
The Fantasy "A knight in shining armor is going to come and take me away from my family that doesn't care for me." "My wife will listen to me and meet my needs the way my family...
Fix Them Please!
Common Myths In Marriage Counseling It's something I hear everyday. "I did not do anything wrong in this marriage, she is the one that had an affair." "He has an addiction and he...
Negative Self Talk
What is your negative self talk like? “You are so lazy, how could anyone love you.” “You are so fat, how could anyone even look at you.” These are horrible statements that most...
Fun in Marriage: The Fun Pie Hog
If you were to measure all of the fun in marriage, is your wife or husband a fun pie hog? A fun pie hog, what is that? Well it is exactly what it sounds like. Imagine there was a...
Parents: The Spot On the Wall
During parents orientation for college recently, a faculty member was suggesting that we discuss with our students how we feel about them leaving. He wisely knew that most of us...
After a Fight, An Olive Branch Eases the Pain
Arguments are a normal part of every relationship. But knowing how to reconnect after a fight can feel much harder than the conflict itself. After a heated argument, many couples...
Fighting in Marriage – The Power of Positive Connection
Strengthening Your Marriage: The Power of Positive Connection in Carmel, Indiana Marriage counselors often see couples in intense conflict. Arguments seem to escalate quickly. It...
Courage – The Mysterious Hidden Power Pellet
Courage and Recovery: Finding Strength Through Counseling in Carmel, Indiana The word courage has been on my mind recently. And I’ve realized something powerful: courage is a...
Counseling – About Christy Aloisio
How Did I Get Into Counseling? I was born and raised in Indianapolis with an older brother and a younger brother (yes, I do have middle child syndrome). I attended Decatur...
Mutual Respect
Mutual Respect: Making Decisions You Won’t Regret Recently, I had an experience with my son while ordering his class ring that reminded me how important mutual respect is. My son...
Behind the Veil of Enmeshment
Understanding Enmeshment During an Affair: Insights from Marriage Counseling In my years as a marriage counselor, I’ve seen many clients become completely lost in the throes of...
The Amygdala – The REAL Cause for Emotional Reactivity
Emotional Reactivity in Marriage: How the Amygdala Hijacks Healthy Communication After years of providing marriage counseling and couples therapy, one pattern continues to stand...
Mothers Who Can’t Love
Healing from a Difficult Mother–Daughter Relationship: A Counseling Perspective Not every woman grows up with a nurturing, emotionally available mother. While society often...
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