After watching so many goggles cross the TV screen during the Olympics, I was inspired by the goggles the Olympic swimmers and divers usedas they courageously competed....
Wearing Childish and Insecure Goggles
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Blogs By: Javan
Love, Hate, and Co-Dependency
There is a contradiction between feeling love and hate, it's obviously almost impossible to feel both emotions at the same time, or is it? Recently a client came into my...
Courage to Face the Fears
Using courage to face your fears means understanding that you don't or won't feel safe in painfulsituations with your significant other.That doesn't mean that it's healthy to...
Triangling – The Devil’s Triangle
Do you know someone who uses humor, gossiping, or backstabbing to address their inner anger towards someone else? Triangling like this is when someone is gossiping, judging,...
The Godfather and Abandonment
Last week, I wrote about the Godfather and the parallels of his life of addiction and real people's addictions, such as addictions that clients often suffer from who seek...
Sex Addiction and the Godfather: Part I
The movie, "The Godfather" is chalk full of family systems theory and addiction including sex addiction. What issue did the Godfather NOT suffer from! He seriously was void of a...
“You Are Controlling!”
Control isn't about typical jealousy you see in a "lifetime" movie. It's being over productive, doing pre-emptively what others are able to do. Being controlling doesn't mean...
Who Are You Really??
Who are you really? The typical answers won't do here....such as student, wife, mom, daughter, father, owner, employee, doctor, lawyer, teacher, brother, lover, husband, etc....
Jealousy……But Why?
Why does negativity stick?Why, when something negative crosses your path, do you feel upset and why does it linger? It seems too often that people definethemselves based on...
He Didn’t Know Her
Inspiration is everywhere in the work of a therapist. There is a fairamount ofrelationship pain thatwalks into my office. Manywish to have love, acceptance, and belonging....for...
Family Systems Counseling….it’s not just about your parents!
Our marriage counseling is heavily based on the family systems paradigm.Many of our Indianapolis area married couples who are seeking...
Self-Talk Dictates Your Life
People in Indianapolis seek marriage counseling for many different reasons. Self-talk is a common thing that we work on. Healing Hearts of Indy provides a unique approach to...
“Truth about Abandonment!” Part II
"So, what happens next, how does my abandonment work in my marriage?" What happens next is our defenses kick into high gear. As adults, in our relationships, we can feel enraged,...
“Truth about Abandonment!”
Abandonmenthappens everyday in our lives......it happened in our past and it will happen again. Abandonment is the feeling that says "I did not get what I wanted or needed from...
“Is He Worth Therapy?”
Dealing with someone you love who feels distant, uncommitted, and is possibly having an affair can be gut wrenching and painful. The sting of betrayal, the lousy levels of...
” We Have Communication Issues, that’s all…”
Communication "I know he doesn't care....it doesn't matter if he says he does!" Many times a week, couples will say theyare having communication issues. When I probe...
Pain is good…..
"We were doing pretty good until we came in today." I hearthis from a couple pretty often, who visit me weekly for maritalcounseling.She has anxiety and perfectionistictendencies...
He won’t change! She won’t change!
On a recent trip, I looked out the window of my airplane seatand noticed fluffy white clouds and a clear blue sky.Below themassiveclouds were cities covered in darkness.I noticed...
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