Do you know the different parts of yourself? Most of us are only vaguely aware of the 3 different parts that I like to talk about in counseling: The Adult, The Little Boy/Girl,...
3 Parts of You
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Category: Anger
The Blame Game
How do you discuss tough topics? If you are able to self-differentiate, not define yourself based on another person's actions or words, then you are able to hear another...
Letting Go Of Resentment
Resentment is so incredibly common. We all feel wronged by someone at some time or another, and where there is blame, over and over again, there is resentment. Everyone walking...
The Art of Listening
As a therapist, you can imagine the importance of being a good listener. Listening is a must-master skill for this profession, and it is not one that we humans are born with,...
The Most Powerful Last Word
Do you need to have the last word in an argument? Why is it so hard to let the conversation die without having the last say? What drives this compulsive need to make the last...
Moving From Victim To Victorious!
When hardship happens in your life, how do you handle it? Do you metaphorically throw yourself down on the floor and have a kicking, screaming tantrum? Or do you accept it as...
We Never Resolve Anything…
Are you the couple that avoids and distances when you don’t agree? Or, are you the raging couple? Do you fight constantly? In either situation, someone is trying to control the...
Defensiveness: Protecting The Heart
Defensiveness is an excellent indicator to help find woundedness in the human heart. After all, we defend places that hurt, like a lion protecting a paw with a thorn in it....
Emotional Anorexia
Most people are familiar with the term anorexia. When they hear the term they think of an eating disorder. People can also suffer from emotional anorexia. I see emotional...
Understanding the System Within the Self
Referring to reactivity, most think of it in a negative context. It is not always screeching (please refer to blog entitled ‘My Life as a Screech Owl’) nagging or crying....
ANGER 101 (or Making Good Use of Anger)
Making good use of anger? Come on, really? We are taught from a very young age that anger is wrong and to express anger is even worse. So what the heck am I doing trying to say...
My Life As A Screech Owl: Living in Reactivity
Have you ever been in a relationship that made you feel like a screech owl? Wait, some people believe no one can ‘make’ us feel anything; we cause ourselves to have particular...
Marriage: The Well Oiled Machine
Marriage counseling is not really about fixing marriage. Sounds weird, yes I know. But marriage counseling is about fixing you. You are the only one that you can control, and you...
Coping With Tragedy
In an instant, a tragedy changed life forever for 2 people and their families yesterday. A young teenage boy set out on his moped for a friend’s house with surely nothing on his...
Emotional Anorexia
Most people are familiar with the term anorexia. When they hear the term they think of an eating disorder. People can also suffer from emotional anorexia. I see emotional...
The Amygdala – The REAL Cause for Reactivity
In the course of my years as a marriage counselor, I still am amazed at times at how people's knee jerk reactivity is so self-defeating. The amygdala is to blame. They can't...
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