As most brides are walking down the aisle the last thought going through their heads is most likely how difficult it may be one day to open up and be vulnerable with their...
Being Vulnerable in Your Marriage May Be Harder Than it Seems
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Category: Uncategorized
Resentment and Anger in Marriage
Resentment is defined as “Bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.” (Wikipedia, 2013) Feeling piqued and angry, indignation takes energy, is depleting, and taints the...
Where Does Narcissism Come From?
Let me begin today by saying that I am not a fan of labels at all. I think that labels are for people who need to group people together for their own purposes, like insurance...
Loneliness of the Soul
There are a lot of lonely people in the world. I mean really lonely. I'm not only referring to the people who live alone, have no family nearby, or who have few friends. I hear...
Recreating Our Childhood (Family of Origin Issues Included)
How is it that we often continue to experience the most painful parts of our childhood over and over in our adult lives? If abandonment was present when we were children we find...
Oh Lord, It’s Hard To Be Humble
So you've heard about the boy scout who received a merit badge for humility, and promptly had it taken away because he wore it? It's like that old saying goes, you can be humble...
The Great Marital Divide
Many couples have felt the great marital divide. The divide that cannot be physically seen, but can be felt by both husband and wife. The gap can feel as big as the Grand Canyon....
Does True Love Exist?
Does true love exist? Most of us believe in true love to an extent and see it as magical and intoxicating. We associate true love with very powerful feelings, but is that it? If...
How To Diffuse An Argument
Ever wonder how to keep an argument from escalating into an all out brawl? There is one simple tip that can, if used properly, diffuse an argument and get you and your partner...
Don’t Trust Your Guesser
Today I want to talk about a topic of particular importance for those who regularly use email and texting or other forms of communication that are not face to face. This is...
Unsticking Your Stuck-On Band Aid Brands Perspective!
Remember that band aid commercial, "I am stuck on band aids brand, cuz band aids stuck on me!" Perspectives can be sticky like band aids. The sticky habit of perspectives are...
Is Trust Really Important? (A Different Approach)
Infidelity brings many couples and individuals to counseling. Most often, the initial issue is layers of anger, shame, blame, resentment and more. At some time during the process...
Heart of Gratitude
Without the trust of clients it is not possible to provide good therapy. “We are all faced with a series of great opportunities - brilliantly disguised as insoluable problems.” -...
Where Did You Learn to Be Married?
Couple after couple come in and sit on the couch and ask, “where did we go wrong?” They look back at their wedding day full of bliss, excitement, and hope and cannot imagine why...
The Deeper Pain of Childhood Sexual Abuse
Childhood sexual abuse takes many forms. It can be anything from inappropriate touch to rape, with an extensive continuum of victimizing behaviors in between. The abusers can be...
Understanding the System Within the Self
Referring to reactivity, most think of it in a negative context. It is not always screeching (please refer to blog entitled ‘My Life as a Screech Owl’) nagging or crying....
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
One of the more frequent issues I see in my office is a spouse or even a couple together trying to decide if they should stay married or move on and proceed with a divorce. Many...
Beware of Therapy! It Can Be a Game Changer.
Relationship trauma is often what brings people to counseling. It can take the form of affairs; emotional cutoff; discovering porn attraction or addiction; physical, emotional,...
Is There Enough of You to Love?
I have had many clients over the years come to my office, sit on my couch, and quietly sob while sharing the pain they feel because their spouse has told them that they do not...
Mother’s Who Can’t Love
I have recently stumbled across a new book Mother's Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters by Susan Forward. I would highly recommend anyone who has a difficult, dramatic,...
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