Let me begin today by saying that I am not a fan of labels at all. I think that labels are for people who need to group people together for their own purposes, like insurance...
Where Does Narcissism Come From?
read more
Category: Uncategorized
Recreating Our Childhood (Family of Origin Issues Included)
How is it that we often continue to experience the most painful parts of our childhood over and over in our adult lives? If abandonment was present when we were children we find...
Oh Lord, It’s Hard To Be Humble
So you've heard about the boy scout who received a merit badge for humility, and promptly had it taken away because he wore it? It's like that old saying goes, you can be humble...
The Great Marital Divide
Many couples have felt the great marital divide. The divide that cannot be physically seen, but can be felt by both husband and wife. The gap can feel as big as the Grand Canyon....
Does True Love Exist?
Does true love exist? Most of us believe in true love to an extent and see it as magical and intoxicating. We associate true love with very powerful feelings, but is that it? If...
How To Diffuse An Argument
Ever wonder how to keep an argument from escalating into an all out brawl? There is one simple tip that can, if used properly, diffuse an argument and get you and your partner...
Don’t Trust Your Guesser
Today I want to talk about a topic of particular importance for those who regularly use email and texting or other forms of communication that are not face to face. This is...
Unsticking Your Stuck-On Band Aid Brands Perspective!
Remember that band aid commercial, "I am stuck on band aids brand, cuz band aids stuck on me!" Perspectives can be sticky like band aids. The sticky habit of perspectives are...
Is Trust Really Important? (A Different Approach)
Infidelity brings many couples and individuals to counseling. Most often, the initial issue is layers of anger, shame, blame, resentment and more. At some time during the process...
Heart of Gratitude
Without the trust of clients it is not possible to provide good therapy. “We are all faced with a series of great opportunities - brilliantly disguised as insoluable problems.” -...
Where Did You Learn to Be Married?
Couple after couple come in and sit on the couch and ask, “where did we go wrong?” They look back at their wedding day full of bliss, excitement, and hope and cannot imagine why...
The Deeper Pain of Childhood Sexual Abuse
Childhood sexual abuse takes many forms. It can be anything from inappropriate touch to rape, with an extensive continuum of victimizing behaviors in between. The abusers can be...
Understanding the System Within the Self
Referring to reactivity, most think of it in a negative context. It is not always screeching (please refer to blog entitled ‘My Life as a Screech Owl’) nagging or crying....
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
One of the more frequent issues I see in my office is a spouse or even a couple together trying to decide if they should stay married or move on and proceed with a divorce. Many...
Beware of Therapy! It Can Be a Game Changer.
Relationship trauma is often what brings people to therapy. It can take the form of affairs; emotional cutoff; discovering porn attraction or addiction; physical, emotional, or...
Is There Enough of You to Love?
I have had many clients over the years come to my office, sit on my couch, and quietly sob while sharing the pain they feel because their spouse has told them that they do not...
Mother’s Who Can’t Love
I have recently stumbled across a new book Mother's Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters by Susan Forward. I would highly recommend anyone who has a difficult, dramatic,...
What Therapy Is, and What Therapy Is Not
I think many people who have not participated in therapy have some misconceptions of what therapy is and what it is not. Some of these misconceptions are what keep people from...
Love and Anxiety
For the purpose of this blog, I’m discussing anxiousness that many people feel that takes away their ability to be present or stable during relationship conflict. Many people...
The Shame Pimp
The Shame Pimp steals your time, hope, and self-respect. What makes you doubt your abilities? What steals your joy? Becoming disillusioned by shame creates over reactions and...
Categories
Abandonment
Addiction
Affairs
Anger
Anxiety
Codependent
Communication
Counterdependent
Depression
Differentiation
Divorce
Family Counseling
Grief
Individual Therapy
Intimacy
Marital Therapy
Marriage
Parenting
PTSD
Relationships
Self Abandonment
Self-Help
Separation
Shame
Uncategorized
Vulnerability
Our Blog