Falling in love and getting married.....it seems so happy. Planning the party, imagining living together, hoping to get every type of happiness is pretty normal for most couples....
That’s not who I married!
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Category: Family Counseling
Passion and Purpose
It takes courage to be vulnerable, to love, to believe, to know, even in dark times, that the truth is worth knowing. Getting to the truth can be hard. Children know truth,...
Stinkin’ Thinkin’: The Addicted Brain
The propensity for addiction exists in each person. If you have a brain, then you have the required tool to become addicted. Addicted people are not physically different from...
Shame Wreaks Havoc on Marital Communications
This week's blog addresses how shame causes misunderstandings and communication issues between people. It’s easy to explain how this happens in marriages. Bob and Louise...
Fear, the True Mistress of Marriage
How has fear affected you in your life? Have you ever thought about all the things you wish you had done or said? What stopped you? Being afraid to do or not do things is common....
“Why Can’t We Just Talk?”
“We have communication issues.” I hear this often from couples regarding intimacy issues. So why is it so hard for people who love each other to just talk? First, we have to...
Enmeshment
Growing up, my parents were my whole world. Their approval and reactions to my choices mattered the most. Eventually, my school teachers and friends joined my circle of intimacy....
How Angry Communication Hurts Marriage
Are you the couple that avoids and distances when you don’t agree? Or, are you the raging couple? Fighting against each other constantly? In either situation, someone is trying...
Unfulfilled Dreams
If a bee doubted how it could rest on a single flower petal, we wouldn't have honey. Yet, the bee does no such thing. The bee does what it is built to do...It makes honey without...
Defensiveness and Resistance
The resistance to acknowledge childhood and family of origin issues is common. What you learn and tell yourself about your life experiences in your childhood is crucial to...
You are Your Thanks-Giving!
Good, emotional health isn't just about knowing what goes wrong. It's also about knowing what works! Do you know what works for you. Knowing your own strengths, your own...
Balance for Hope
Busy holiday schedules are beginning, which means good and bad stress. Remembering to balance the positive in your life with the negative experiences is important. Without...
It’s all MY fault?!?!?
Do you ever wonder how your spouse seemed one way when you first met but then turned out to be a totally different person after a few years?? At first, you can't imagine how this...
Life Stressors and Anxiety
Managing stress in a constantly spinning world is challenging. Stress creates anxiety, worry, and a sense of loss. Life isn't about how much you do, but the quality of what you...
INSPIRATION
Life is a mirror back to me, reminding me that I have within me, all that I need and all that I am. When I forget, when I look outside myself, I have forgotten a simple and...
Masking Yourself in Marriage
Last week I wrote about not being true to your motives and intentions with your loved ones. I gave a few examples of how this "being not your true self" shows up in your family...
Insecurity in Your Marriage
How comfortable are you with being yourself to your partner? It seems hard to imagine that after living with someone for years, that we wouldn't be ourselves. However, in...
Marital Counseling and Truth
The pattern of losing trust with people begins early in our lives, regardless of whether or not your childhood was a safe and loving one or one of trauma and abuse. The breaking...
Obsessive Love
Are you guilty of obsessive love? There's a quote in the Jerry McGuire movie that always irks me. It is, "You complete me." One person cannot complete another....this is...
Loss of Sexual Intimacy
Many couples complain of lessening sexual intimacy. This usually is when couples are on the verge of separation or divorce. This is when a therapist is called into the picture....
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